tiny bit of background on how I came to be a webwhore.
I was born in 1973, the year of Roe vs. Wade. A couple years later as
a wee precocious babe still sucking on a pacifier, I managed to find
enough unsupervised time to sit on the floor in front of my dad's nightstand
and carefully leaf through an entire stack of "dirty" magazines.
I still remember an image of a half naked woman exhibiting herself outdoors
on the wide steps of a public building. My mom finally caught me but
not before I had methodically perused volumes of softcore porn.
In my formative years, my favorite dolly was a cheap
plastic wench scornfully named "Chippy" by my mom. I dropped
everything when Charo came on the Merv Griffin show or when the woman
in the Enjoli commercial crooned, "I can bring home the bacon /
fry it up in the pan / and never never let you forget you're a man!"
I idolized Cher with her many talents and by the time I was in Kindergarten
my childhood girlfriend and I were already perfecting our favorite game
of "Elvis" which involved humping each other like fiends.
Learning to read opened new doors of exploration and by fourth grade
I was on a mission to check out as many dirty books as possible from
the library. I remember getting into a fight with a friend over who
was going to read "Forever" first.
One lunchtime in Junior high I enlisted the help of the class slut in
manufacturing business cards to pass out in honors pre-algebra advertising
an escort service. We never got any customers amongst our seventh grade
classmates, but I never discarded my entrepreneurial fantasy of being
a powerful sex worker.
As my secondary education wore on, I began to realize
that "power" and "sexuality" didn't exactly go hand
in hand the way I envisioned. I observed that giggling maniacally and
tolerating male idiocy were the keys to dating popularity and I would
have none of it. I preferred to be smart, disdainful, and as far as
guys were concerned . . . a sexual leper who used too many big words.
By my senior year in high school, I had discovered at a statewide all-girls
mock government experience that I could be strongly sexually attracted
to women. At school I thrived on opportunites to research legalizing
prostitution and implementing mandatory school uniforms. I also started
getting angry about ways that our sexuality is manipulated, abused,
and our power restricted when I started reflecting on the sexual abuse
my mom, sister and I experienced as kids.
I wound up in college and was promptly labeled a rabid feminazi. I tried
to be committed to higher education even though deep down I knew it
wasn't for me. I tried to make smart decisions that other people would
approve of but ended up bagging it and getting a real job with only
one class left to finish to get my B.A.E. I went through the graduation
ceremony anyway and that seemed to make my family happy. I made another
"smart" decision that wasn't right for me by getting married
- eventually I left my husband in much the same way I left college.
The experience of being married, getting laid on a regular
basis, working for a good company that provided good opportunities to
women, and having female subordinates who were more of a pain in the
ass than any man ever dreamt of being all served to soften my youthful
feminist militarism. I realized that with so few women willing to even
CALL themselves "feminist", there is much work to be done
just amongst ourselves as women.
Entre to Camwhoring:
Almost six years after leaving college I found myself happily living
alone again, on the verge of being promoted further into the ranks of
middle management, and enjoying gleeful promiscuity. As fate would have
it, in October of 2000 I found out about doing live webcam sex shows
and gave it a whirl. A few months later I decided to take a leave of
absence at my straight job. I began to realize that instead of going
to my regular job every day and WISHING I was following my own passions
. . . well, that I could quit and do whatever I wanted. My boss told
me she would MAKE the job I wanted, but the job I wanted was to write
my own pink slip and work at home as a webwhore. So I quit!!! Still,
I l didn't fully commit to being a sex worker. I thought I'd just teach
myself web design, do my little camshows, and also try to finish that
class to get my B.A.E. thinking I could be a teacher without anyone
being the wiser about what I imagined would be a brief stint as an internet
I gradually realized that I didn't want to be a half-hearted
or secretive webwhore and that I wasn't camming just as a means to an
end -- working in the sex industry for a good amount of time is just
part of my destiny. In 2002 I grew out of just being an iFriends
chathost and started building this website. I kept the campy over-the-top
nickname, TastyTrixie, I gave myself when I started exhibiting on iFriends.
In May of 2002 I added 24-7 live voyeurcams to my newly-opened members-only
area, and the site has been growing every since.
Sure, there are lots of challenges to working at home for myself and
shunning social mores, but I am fortunate enough to have supportive
members who know me well and can relate to my struggles -- after all,
they're the same things we all deal with: insecurities, financial debacles,
fear, and good old-fashioned laziness! Whenever I feel like maybe I
won't be able to make a success of this venture I remind myself how
important it is to stick it out -- not everybody has the balls or favorable
circumstances to try to hoist themselves up inch-by-inch to seize that
elusive American Dream of getting paid to masturbate! I often think
many of my members are more interested in following my growth as a self-employed
creative person than they are in jacking off to my naked body. ;-) That
suspicion alone keeps me motivated in the long haul. As far as going
against the grain of society by doing sex work, I can't think of another
job where I've had more freedom to live by my own ethics and morals.
From emotional, spiritual, feminist, and social standpoints being a
whore is a powerful good thing ;).
I'm now 100% devoted to combining my fascination with
sex work, gender issues, and creative arts with my desire for independence,
self-employment, and constant learning opportunities. I am "out"
with my family and friends about my webwhore career, and things have
just gotten better and better since moving in with my
boyfriend Tucker -- he also does a lot of work with me on our sites
and now shoots almost all of my pictures.
In the future I can see myself writing more and teaching
(maybe gender studies) someday, but still creating and maintaining my
adult website(s) over the long haul (if I am so fortunate). I plan on
being a webwhore well into my golden years (again, if I'm lucky enough
to get there) and plan to always have my website up and open to members
even if I someday get tired of being in front of the cam or move on
to new projects!