My doctor advised me to start taking folic acid (even though I don't plan to get pregnant), and with that, a Vitamin B complex.

I think the Vitamin B's are working wonders on me. My Attention Deficit Disorder symptoms seem to be greatly decreased; I feel more calm, focused and relaxed . . . I've never noticed such a significant change from taking any kind of vitamin before, but this is pronounced enough I can't attribute it to anything else. Here's some more info on the B Vitamins: BBC - Health - Healthy living - Vitamins. I find it particularly interesting that a lot of them are advised to help in treating PMS (which I have suffered terribly at times, but not much at all now that I'm on the pill).

After noticing how much more focused I am and how less "ADD" I feel, I did google to see if anyone else has made a connection between ADD and Vitamin B, and there are lots of indications of that (though none that I found made it sound as dramatic as what I'm feeling).

The Hottest New Adult Exercise:
"What was once a popular grade school game has made a huge comeback among adults. Not only is dodgeball a good workout, but also throwing a ball hard at someone else relieves a lot of tension."
What a sick fucking game; watching Freaks and Geeks reminded me how horrifying this elementary school PE requirement was for me and so many others. But hey, if grownups want to do it I guess it's great since its voluntary rather than compulsory.

To balance out the picture in my last entry, here's one with the cortisol enhanced belly playing a less prominent role in the photo:

Cortisol, Stress, and Weight Gain:
While waiting for a tanning bed to open up, I picked up one of those girly magazines I so rarely delve into and found an article about abs in your twenties, thirties, and forties. The article talked about the way most women's abdominals change as they age and provided supposedly the "best" ab exercises to target each of those age group's abs.

The most interesting thing in the article applied to the thirties crowd. Apparently we release a hormone called cortisol when we're stressed out, and cortisol makes you gain weight ESPECIALLY in the tummy (this is where I carry most of my extra baggage, right around my middle). By the time we're in our thirties the article said many of us can have chronically high cortisol levels.

I came home and looked up more info on cortisol's relation to weight gain. It's fascinating to ponder the ways our mindset and attitudes influence our physical health and well-being.

So . . . I'm not going to allow things to bother me and get me all worked up since that spike in stress has such a long-term effect on my body, especially since I have that "bad" kind of fat as far as its location (in the torso) being linked to heart disease.

I'm not sure if I can attribute all of the belly you see below to stress - some of it might just be nature taking her course. But yeah, the majority of it I owe to choices I have made to sit in front of the computer working or wasting time rather than being more active and consciously choosing to respond to trivial frustrations with unnecessarily high levels of anxiety, tension, and stress.

All About My Vagina : smell (1/1):
"Washing makes my vagina smell less strong. Going several days with no washing results in a more pungent vagina. Most people could probably have guessed that."

MyVag.net is a fantastic matter-of-fact website by one woman writing frankly about all aspects of her "vag". Her entry on its smell goes on from the quotation above to describe the aroma as similar to "raw potatoes" and "white glue".

We need more of this type of honesty regarding our genitals instead of dumbing things down, or covering them up, or just plain lying about them and promoting sheer stupidity.

Sometimes I cannot believe how little people know about vaginas, but this chick is one smart cookie. Her intelligence blesses us with greater accuracy than we're used to (come on, raw potatoes and white glue aren't words you've ever heard used to describe the smell of pussy, but they are so APT) without being clinical.

I have no idea how much I weigh . . . probably around 120.

I feel great today -- wide awake upon getting up at around 9 am. Just took a walk by myself. Have been doing a good job of stretching 4 or 5 times a week for the past month or so. It's making a big difference with my back/ass/leg.

In the past month my weight has fluctuated from 121, to 116, to 119.5 (today). I am PMSing though, so maybe some of it is water retention.

My year at the gym is almost over and I don't think I will continue with my membership. My body is finally back on a night owl schedule which removes the possibility of attending the two morning Pilates classes, leaving only two other classes I like and could attend. I think I'd rather spend the $50 a month on exercise dvd's which I can do any time I want at home, and wind up with more variety. But then again, we DID go to the gym tonight for stretch class, and I DID enjoy reading while walking (SLOWLY) on the treadmill, which I guess could replace sitting on my ass at home and reading. I don't know. I mean, I really only use three of the machines there so . . . is it worth it?

Tonight my lower back/ass/leg problem is really fucking hurting. Does that mean I should stretch more tonight after stretching an hour already today? Or does that mean I stretched too much? Or just that my back is FUCKED up?

My shopping slave bought me some face goo and powder that I've been enjoying immensely along with some perfume. I so rarely pamper myself with beauty products, especially since I work at home . . . the past week I have completely enjoyed smelling girly. I don't usually LIKE girly smells very much -- or I like them, but wind up finding them overpowering even in small amounts so that I avoid them completely.

Got a massage this morning. She recommended yoga, which I am not fond of (mostly because I can't seem to get into the poses and no one explains what it all means so I feel very left behind). Anyway, my back, neck, everything . . . are all pretty fucked up.

Didn't do anything except sit with my toxins. Wanted brownies, but didn't succomb.

Then we took a walk in the night wind. So that would be maybe . . . 20 or 25 minutes of exercise to my way of thinking, because the passive stretching in the massage counts, right?