My name is Trixie (aka TastyTrixie). The Wandering WebWhore is my personal blog. I'm a 30-something indie pornographer whose journal covers a variety of topics: mundane daily life, work-related reflection, sex stuff, current events, and more.
I have a feeling I'm going to regret posting these little video rants with my thoughts and reactions to the whole "Letters from Working Girls" debate. And you may very well regret listening to them; honestly, they probably won't make sense to you unless you read the back story here:
Can I just apologize in advance for being a sputtering asshole? Oh, and I realize by posting this I'm probably just driving my own little slice of traffic to her; in spite of how my blustering sounds, that's more than fine with me. Also, I am NOT speaking for anybody or on the behalf of anybody but myself.
Oh, you know how I said I couldn't find a picture of Susannah Breslin? I *did* find a video of her:
She reminds me of Selma Blair (hot!) which makes me even MORE interested in finding out exactly what type of sex work I can hire her to perform. Watching her talk about a book of short stories she wrote and hearing her blur the line between truth and fiction to the point where I can't tell if the book is, indeed, short (fictional) STORIES she wrote about "aberrants" like "midget porn stars" OR nonfictional essays about real people. Does anyone know? The promo piece reinforces my sense of her as someone who's less interested in being true to people's real stories in the sex industry and more interested in harnessing our curiosity about them to market entertaining tales of our perceived deviance for her own gain. Again, I don't so much mind someone exploiting a resource (I'm not someone who thinks there's no room in the world for pimps) as I mind someone bullshitting everyone about that being their primary objective.
And hey, I don't want to make it sound like my own hands are clean; I've used a lot of the same tactics (or would if I could unclutter my mind long enough to APPLY the techniques of efficient exploitation), just not very well. So go on, everybody! GET that publicity! GET that traffic!! USE WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN!!! Wankers send you material? THAT IS BLOG FODDER! Someone wants to give you content without getting anything in return except the pleasure of putting it before an audience? TAKE it and USE it! Let Susannah Breslin be your guide!
Oh, and I wouldn't argue with her about Susie Bright being a sex worker. The quickest reason I can give (which still probably doesn't make sense)? She has confessed to her own personal fantasies that are so taboo as to be considered obscene by our government just to talk about them. Maybe Breslin has, too, though and I'm just not familiar enough with her (sex?) work to know.
Note: with the amount of time and energy I've wasted on this compared to the MAJOR stuff I ignore in my blog, you might think engaging in this little brouhaha is somehow more important to me than other things; it's not. It's just one of the few "discussions" I've been involved in lately and enjoyed, probably because it was mostly smart women doing the discussing (and yeah, Breslin is one of those women, too).
Yesterday I accidentally spoke my legal name (first AND last) aloud over our spycams when I forgot to turn the audio off before making a phone call. Fittingly, the phone call was to our cable company in hopes of fattening our internet pipe so that we can broadcast MORE spycams, faster (so people can overhear even more of the goings-on in our house).
FYI: though I'm not super-uptight about a few voyeurs knowing my legal names, it's not an invitation for people who know me as Trixie to address me as anything other than Trixie (or "Trix" OR even "stupid ugly cunthole" - even that would be preferable to people puncturing my webwhore bubble by assuming a level of familiarity I've not expressly solicited). There are actually quite a few members, past and present, who know my "real" name, and they've done a great job of earning my trust by respecting that Trixie is my chosen name for my webwhore-related interactions.
Having said that, there *have* been a couple of times where people used my birth name online to put me in an uncomfortable place trying to show me that they knew something they weren't supposed to. It was like they wanted me to know I couldn't get away with "fooling" them. Also, there have been people who are hell-bent on knowing my "real" name, repeatedly trying to drag it out of me; anyone who seems to think he NEEDS to know my birth name is someone I don't want to have that information. For one thing, "Trixie" is just as real a name to me as the one my parents gave me because I gave mySELF this name. I really detest anyone who acts like the name I gave myself is inherently fake or phony. Plus, someone who doggedly refuses to acknowledge the importance of having a stage name just for privacy's sake in this industry is someone I don't want to deal with -- they are the people who give whores good reason to protect their identities and keep them separate from their family lives.
Someone trying to convince me to tell him my real name once tried to appeal to my sense of fairness by saying, "but if I join your site, then you'll know *MY* name and personal information so I should know yours, too!" Wow -- and by his logic, when he joins my site and gets to see and hear inside MY HOME, it would only be fair for me to see and hear inside HIS home. Using his rationale I would apparently be justified in using the name and address associated with his credit card to go to his house and spy on him and his family and maybe google his name to find out where he works since, after all, he gets to spy on ME while I am working, right?
Of course not. That way of thinking is ALL WRONG. Anyway, the product I sell isn't "fairness" -- it's FANTASY. Sure, I pride myself on offering a more authentic and less fictionalized version of the porn fantasy, but I don't enter into a reciprocal relationship with my customers. It's not like, "you show me your credit card, I'll show you mine." No, it's an exchange and I set the terms. If private information like my birth name were to be for sale, I would SELL it as such. For like, five million dollars since it would pretty much be a one-time deal because anyone who thinks that information is too juicy for me to deserve to keep it under wraps would probably post it all over the internet anyway and I wouldn't be able to sell that information again. And because I would want to make the point that YES, I DO think my private information is worth more than yours, and if you're hell bent on stalking me to get more out of me than I offer professionally, you owe me the kind of money that will afford bodyguards, a nice home security system and a really lovely arsenal.
It's not that I don't understand being curious and it's not that I think that kind of curiosity is pathologically dangerous -- it's not the curiosity that bothers me, it's the disrespect shown in trying to SATISFY that curiosity. In the example of the guy who thought that since I could look up his real name in my system that he should get to know mine, it's like he was trying to take me down a peg by getting me to say something like, "gosh, you're right! What, do I think I'm *better* than you? No, I'm just an untrustworthy whore trying to exploit you with my fake identity and shouldn't be trusted with your personal information without handing over an even more literal pound of flesh than the ones on display in my members-area. Who do I think I am, using my fraudulent porn persona to extract your personal information? Before you waste twenty dollars to see my life's work since 2002 I need to make sure we're even-Steven and I've been properly subjugated by your superior will."These guys with their sense of entitlement scare me, but not enough that I won't confirm their worst nightmare: YES, I NOT ONLY *THINK* I AM BETTER THAN YOU, I *KNOW* THAT I AM BETTER THAN YOU. How do I know? By your horribly ill-mannered invasiveness, that's how I know. Oh, and I ALSO KNOW THAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF MY CUSTOMERS ARE BETTER THAN YOU, TOO, BECAUSE THEY DON'T PESTER ME IN THIS SOCIALLY RETARDED MANNER AND EVEN IF THEY DO KNOW SOME OF MY "SECRETS" THEY DON'T TRY TO RUB MY NOSE IN IT.
T I D B I T S
*Good news: Nico (our dog) doesn't have a tumor; she had weed seeds that burrowed into her skin and became infected and swollen. Apparently this is a fairly common thing that happens to outside-dogs in the summer. The vet extracted the little buggers and prescribed some antibiotics, so all is well!
*Good news: I recently lost a few pounds. Bad news: I think I lost them off of my boobs. I guess that's what happens when you go off the pill.
*We bought a new printer last week and I still haven't had a chance to figure out where to put it or even just unpack it and smell it's new-machine smell. It's a photo printer, so maybe now we'll be able to sell 8x10's (there seems to be a niche demand for autographed 8x10's of webwhores, fyi).