Saturday, August 01, 2009
A Slice of Americana Porno Pie (PICS)
I went on a little field trip by myself today, and happened across this fucktastic hillbilly head shop:
You can get almost anything there: firewood, dildos, giant bongs, blow-up sex dolls, gay wanker mags (I bought one as a thanks for letting me take these pics . . . and because I really enjoy gay wanker mags), swords, patriotic novelties, and old issues of Playboy that should be in protective sleeves, but instead are gathering dust in layers of MEASURABLE thickness (I *so* wanted to rescue the one with Dolly Parton on the cover
Even though the place stank of mildew and old carpeting stained with Sheltie poop and pee, I seriously fucking loved it there especially when I heard, then spotted, the fucking police scanner:
I just have a thing for police scanners. Don't know why I don't have one. Anyway, there's also a stuffed parrot of porn watching out for things along with a dude who worked there (he was kind of cute but I thought it would be asking a bit much to take his picture and post it here):
There was also a thin, grizzled hang-around guy there who got a little boisterous when I popped in. A couple good-looking, fresh-smelling locals also popped in to get some porn so the place is obviously doing business since I wasn't there very long. After I left, the hang-around guy wearing the straw cowboy hat followed me back out to my car to say, "boy! You SURE are cute!" then captioned himself by mumbling with concentration, "little hat trick for ya . . ." as he tossed it into the air and juggled it around with a flourish as a special little show for me. Much appreciated, hang-around dude.
Here I am on the security camera, standing basically two inches from the counter. Obviously surveillance is a fetish at this place, which I *totally* understand (and is only one of 100 reasons why I didn't visit the restroom there):
All the way home I scripted a movie in my head to shoot there and wished we had money to pay to shoot it (including paying not only to rent the place, but to have it professionally cleaned inside without losing ALL of the personality/flavor). Actually, whenever we make the trip to this particular loggerific town I always wind up using the time on the road to script porno movies. The last one was so funny I kept laughing out loud and confirming for Delia
that her girlfriend is a crazy person. She didn't go with me today, though, so I got to be crazy all by myself and go places she would rather avoid like the hillbilly head/sex shop and this geeky place
Here are a couple more shots of the joint to give you a better idea of the scope of their patriotism and firewood-selling enterprise:
Instead of having the wood bundles stacked in one area, they've created a car maze & parking-lot border out of individual bundles arranged in lines, with each bundle labeled with a price and the name of the tree it came from (not name like "Tom" or "Cindy", but Red Cedar, Douglas Fir, etc.):
I just enjoy seeing people making a modest and dirty living combining everything they love. Like, FUCK you! I'm going to let my dog come to work with me and rub it's dirty ass all over the carpet while I get high in the back room and show off my ninja sword to my buddies!! Are you sure you don't need a cord of wood to go with that? LET'S SPRAY PAINT THE SINGLE-WIDE RED, WHITE AND BLUE!!! GodDAMN I love this country!!
Labels: Pacific Northwest, PHOTOS, PORNOGRAPHY, shopping
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Sex Toy Spreadsheet (PICS)
Yesterday I catalogued our inventory of sex toys in a spreadsheet to try to keep track of which ones we have (and haven't) shot with.This is the Tantus Sport which I got from their closeout section in a clearance color; I've gotten a lot of spectacular (and low-priced silicone toys) from them. In fact, my favorites are ones they don't make anymore.
We have over fifty sex toys, which is pretty awesome. Really a dream come true, I have to say. There have been others over the years we've thrown away because they were cheap/dangerous jelly or broke/got used-to-death.
Crazily, we have barely shot photos or videos with more than a handful of them. We use a lot of them during our live webcam shows so it seems like we get/have gotten a lot of use from them, but there aren't actually a ton of pics or masturbation-with-toys videos on our sites. Pretty dumb, eh? Hence the spreadsheet.The Tantus Goddess vibrating dildo (a gift from FurryGirl's Sensual Vegan):
Lately I've been CRAVING new toys in categories we don't have. Example: we don't have any big "realistic" toys in our collection which seems like a SERIOUS oversight, especially considering how few of my close webwhore colleagues seem into those types of things and how TOTALLY into them I am (so it seems like a good niche for me to "fill", hardy har har). Sure, I like the way our "non-representational" dildos FEEL, but I fucking love seeing chicks spreading themselves out with big fat fake pricks and I love the way realistic "dongs" look especially when there are good contrasting colors between the head and the shaft (hello, Black Thunder
). I totally want more DONGS.One of two Head O State Obama dildos we bought:
I can't allow myself to purchase any more sex toys, though, until we've shot more with the ones we already have. Even though I totally want a pussy pump, more stainless steel, DEFINITELY more artistic stuff like carved wooden dildos, art glass, & unique molded silicone insertables. AND BIG DIRTY DICK-SHAPED DILDOS, like I already mentioned. Just can't let myself get them. I'm not sure why we never got on the bus that has sex toy manufacturers constantly sending us unsolicited samples, but that's just never happened to us, I'm sad to say.
I did get a couple of toys to review from the nice folks at Pleasure Me Now
, but I stalled out after the glass dildo
when I couldn't bring myself to properly review the smart balls I was super excited about trying but was then unsuccessful at enjoying. Not that they asked me to only write positive reviews -- they didn't -- but I felt like I hadn't given those GIGANTIC FUCKING BALLS a fair shake and kept procrastinating on setting aside time to really give them a good trial. Sometimes my anal retentiveness is an obstacle to getting freebies.
One of the problems with our sex toy collection (and pretty much everything we buy to wear or use in photo shoots) is the constant struggle to decide between buying A LOT of cheap and semi-generic things on our limited budget or buying A FEW unique and really marvelous things . . . and not being able to buy anything else for months. Usually I wind up buying more for less rather than investing a bunch of money in a very-few expensive and spectacular items. We buy most of our clothes second-hand or on sale and same goes for the toys, so I rarely spend more than $40 on a single toy. Which is why I have zero "realistic" dildos, since all the good ones are in the $60-$90 range (and are made of questionable, possibly-hazardous and hard-to-clean materials making the investment even LESS sound since Delia
and I might not be able to share them or get very many miles out of them or they'll stain if we get lipstick on them, etc.). It doesn't really make sense, since even with these frugal choices designed to give us (and our members) more variety I'm not even using all of the stuff AND I *still* use certain things OVER and OVER again (like my Hitachi Magic Wand).
It's the whole dilemma of "do I buy five crappy Frederick's of Hollywood corsets or one REAL corset?" And then the ultimate challenge of making use of everything, which is where I actually fall down on the job(s). But who wouldn't after exhausting all those brain cells on making these tough shopping decisions? Most members don't give a fuck anyway as long as you're regularly posting something new and hot -- the mileage you can get on one slimline vibe, a little hard work and a cheap pair of pantyhose is pretty remarkable, but in terms of standing out in a crowd with your promo materials and really presenting something SPECIAL that continues to be personally exciting sometimes you want things that are fancy, different, stylish, etc. Well, almost all the time I want those things. And never quite succeed in getting them. Which leaves me with something average which is tiresome.
Even more tiresome? All of this is leading into yet another blog entry about shopping for sexy stuff which I'll try to post soon but I had no idea I was going to spend an hour writing THIS one.
Labels: money, PHOTOS, reviews, sex toy store, sex work, shopping, toys, TURN ONS, webwhore insights, work
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I went to the store for a colon cleanse kit (details to come in another entry) and some other goodies while Delia
was at her meeting. The worker bees were doing their nightly cleanup routine where they're totally in your way except for when you want to check out, and then they ignore you (and you know your irritation with them is totally reciprocated because you're in THEIR way, too). I walked out happy with my purchases, but making my foul "I hate people!" frowny-face.
In the empty parking lot as I loaded my bag into our van I happened to glance out into the dark street just in time to see a car swishing by. It looked familiar . . . was it? YES! It was my girlfriend on her way home and she SAW me! You have no idea how big my grin was by the time Delia turned on her blinker and pulled in, rolling down her window just to give me a kiss.
I know it's totally dorky and makes no sense that it would make me so happy to see her like that when we're together 97% of the time. I can't explain it, but it felt so good. Less than five minutes later we were both home together again, kissing in the driveway and talking about our colons.
I am the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.
Labels: emotions, health, my trans partner, relationships, shopping, thanksgiving
Friday, November 28, 2008
Far from the Trampling Crowd
While other women are out shopping for bargains today, we're staying home to masturbate on cam. Yes, I planned it that way deliberately to target the men in the states who stay home jacking off to internet porn while the wimmin-folk are out in the malls blowing money.
I'm sure many of those women would call me evil, exploiting the Thanksgiving holiday for profit by appealing to people's "base" instincts. Leading their men-folk astray and causing them to cyber-cheat while their loving wives are out dutifully blowing wads of dough.
Can you tell I think that's all a crock of shit? The way the chaste and moral crowd points their fingers at whores like me while they're out TRAMPLING PEOPLE TO DEATH
for Black Friday bargains?
A worker died after being trampled and a woman miscarried when hundreds of shoppers smashed through the doors of a Long Island Wal-Mart Friday morning, witnesses said.
The unidentified worker, employed as an overnight stock clerk, tried to hold back the unruly crowds just after the Valley Stream store opened at 5 a.m.
Witnesses said the surging throngs of shoppers knocked the man down. He fell and was stepped on. As he gasped for air, shoppers ran over and around him.
As far as I know, no one has ever had a miscarriage watching porn, so take THAT family values!
I break out into a cold sweat whenever I hear about and imagine crowds-gone-wild; all of those sports arena horror stories and such make me crap my pants; I am deathly afraid of the mob, of our basest, wild-eyed instincts stomping the fuck out of each other. Of having the breath crushed out of me.
We were watching one of those MOST SHOCKING CRAZY-ASS THINGS CAUGHT ON VIDEO shows the other night showing a riot in Vancouver after a hockey game; people running amok, setting shit on fire, overturning cop cars, smashing into storefronts, etc. It's just bizarre to me that people are so scared by PORN and do so much to try to censor it out of existence, but no one ever says we should stop allowing mass-attendance at sporting events, or we should ban sports all together. It's a stupid proposal, I guess, but one that makes WAY MORE SENSE than getting rid of porn or continuing all the lame-ass crackdowns on sex work in general.
People are fucking insane, especially when they're in large groups where they feel no personal responsibility for the damage that can be done by the mad power of the unstoppable horde.
On that note, I must now prepare myself for the unruly, anonymous crowds that might attend my webcam show in a couple of hours. But no matter how badly they behave, it couldn't possibly be as unpleasant as SHOPPING today.Thanks to Delia for the heads up on today's trampling death.
Labels: fears, gender issues, money, porn consumers, rants, shopping, sociopolitical commentary, sports, true crime, values, violence, webcam shows, worse than porn
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I'm Totally Mental!!
This will be a very boring entry to read if you aren't interested in health issues:
Today I *had* to cancel my shows because I woke up with a headache that developed into a full-fledged, obvious migraine. I've done shows before in spite of them and just kept the lights down low and abstained from masturbating to keep all that blood flow in and out of my head consistent, but that wasn't an option today as I had diarrhea and was almost puking my brains out.
Of course, I thought I'd been very good lately about avoiding triggers like bananas, peanut butter, caffeine, etc. but then we realized that yesterday? I ate smoked salmon, bacon and avocados -- all yummy things on the food trigger list. And for some reason I just thought turkey bacon would be exempt from what makes bacon be on that list, but I was SO wrong. On top of that the entire past week I've been very light sensitive with sun spots, etc. and have had a metal taste in my mouth often and other weird flavors on the roof of my mouth; I think I've been teetering on the brink. Today before I got nauseated I was standing in the bathroom and suddenly smelled an overpowering scent of bread mold for a few seconds and then it was gone; it was an olfactory hallucination which I do not think I've ever had before, but apparently is a less-common type of aura preceding migraines.
I was diagnosed with classic migraines as a kid but they were much worse back then with guaranteed puke-fests and a very distinct tunnel-vision and other weird feelings warning me they were coming. As an adult I've been sort of dismissive of them because they're different and less severe than they were as a kid and teenager when they were absolutely incapacitating. The thing is, they were a lot more RARE when I was younger, too. They might not be as bad now and I might be able to avoid barfing my brains out, but they're more frequent and last a lot longer (maybe because I'm not puking?) so I don't know why I just keep trying to pretend they're not a big giant deal.
Low and behold, I discovered today when frantically googling that migraines can also be caused by thyroid problems
. It will be such a relief if that's the reason for a bunch of symptoms on my mounting list of health complaints. I feel like I'm wasting so much time in my life trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I used to think I was the picture of health, not in an athletic way, but in an indestructible-nerd way. Quirks like attention deficit disorder weren't things I saw as vulnerabilities or symptoms of poor construction, they were what made me SPECIAL and amazing! Now I feel like a whining puddle of annoying health problems from my lactose intolerance to my allergies to animals to my inability to conceive to my insane levels of PMS to my anxiety to my sensitivities to every little morsel of stimulation to my inability to hold conversations on cell phones. Yes, I still find it very hard to believe other people are able to separate the noises on the phone and the road from the voice and then actually piece the sounds together into words that are strung into sentences intended to convey meaning. If I were a character on a video game with a full life counter who had to talk (and listen) for three minutes on a cell phone, you would see my juice depleted to almost nothing in that amount of time.
Anyhoo, we're getting up early tomorrow to trek to Tacoma for an appointment with my brilliant and wonderful psychiatrist. I haven't seen him in at least five years and am looking forward to being re-assessed by him and getting a Ritalin scrip. I will definitely talk to him about my other brain stuff like the migraines, potential thyroid issues, etc. That is the benefit of going to a really good psychiatrist rather than just a psychologist; they are DOCTORS who know lots of interesting shit.
After that we're meeting up with Delia's ex-girlfriend and her partner for dinner, then spending the night with our friend Ron; all of these people are creative-thinkers so it's fun to brainstorm with them, not boring "regular" socializing. On Tuesday we have to do some shopping (our threadbare flannel sheets bit the dust and are ripping on my side of the bed and my good hot water bottle is so thin it's about to burst) and meet up with my mom to give her a birthday present (which I also have not picked out yet).
FYI: if you've gotten an email from me in the past three months, you are one of about a dozen people who can say that. I'm just mentioning it so everyone else will know that it's not just YOU who hasn't heard from me personally, I'm just having a hard time getting it all done. My computer time is prioritized to be eaten up doing stuff that's meant to be consumed by more than one person at a time. It sucks, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it unless I want to stop sleeping and give myself more migraines.
Labels: health, migraines, shopping, therapy, work
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Hard Drives for WebWhores
If you make porn these days, you really need a system for storing and backing up your photos and video files, even if you just run "amateur" sites with homemade content. We are going through growing pains ourselves, so I'm taking this opportunity to outline some storage suggestions for my fellow webwhores:
*Maintain copies of all of your raw, unedited, full-size photos IN ADDITION to duplicates that you have edited and resized (but NOT optimized/reduced in quality for the web or stamped with a domain name - those versions will be saved with your site). And have backups of all that (basically four copies of each photo).
*KEEP LOCAL COPIES OF YOUR ENTIRE WEBSITE(S), BLOGS, ETC. ON HARD DRIVE. Yes, your hosting company should have backups, but don't rely on that. Everything you upload to your blog, website, etc. should also be saved offline with you on your machine or wherever. If you create content online (using wordpress, google docs, etc.) download backups to your hard drive. Guess what this means? You now should have at least six copies of each good photo you've taken and published.
*Shoot video on tape NOT digital or cd/dvd. Keep your original tapes safe. Like, IN a firesafe. Capture them as AVI's and keep those, too (we burn ours to dvd).
*Keep your old emails and make backups of them. You are/should be a business-person and keep copies of all of your communications with customers, colleagues, service people, etc.
*Develop a backup schedule and log for recording each of your backups, what you backed up, where you put it, etc.
*Remember that anything you burn to dvd or cd will degrade with time. Don't have your only copy of data stored on this type of media. Seriously, google it. Also, remember that hard drives fail. It does no good to make a backup copy of your email, for example, and save that backup on the same exact drive as the originals.
*Rent a safe deposit box to store your backups, your will (including what you want to be done with your website(s) and content when you die), and a small flash drive or something like that with backups of your will and all the login information needed to take carry out your wishes plus software licenses, etc. You might consider making private, clandestine arrangements to have this maintained out of the country if you live in a fucked up nation such as the United States of America where the feds can bust down your door and seize everything because you are guilty of making OBSCENITY. If you want to know what that would feel like, you should watch The Notorious Bettie Page
for a dramatic recreation of purging your art-porn to try to save yourself from prison. And then recognize it happens still today. The feds ARE searching and seizing, and indie webwhores ARE madly deleting and trashing their archived homemade porn because someone called Child Protective Services or the local police complaining that someone in the neighborhood is having sex AND TAKING PICTURES OF IT AND SELLING THOSE PICTURES!!
Basically you should get twice as much storage as you need to house all of your most precious data once for your safe deposit box, then switch them out; let's pretend you have 600 GB of photos you want to keep safe so ideally you'd buy TWO one terrabyte hard drives for your backups. Make your first backup and put it in your safe deposit box. In three months make another backup on your second 1TB backup drive with all your old and NEW pictures you've taken since then, take it to the bank (or send it to whoever) to replace the backup that's already there, and bring that one home to use next quarter.
*Insurance. Insurance is tricky because if you're working online from home and renting, but need to protect your BUSINESS assets (that are in a house that you rent where you're not supposed to be operating a business). . . well. Yeah. TRICKY. Anyway, insurance money could never totally compensate you for losing photos/videos/original work, so while it's good to have insurance to replace your cameras, computers, etc. if there was a fire or break-in, money can't buy back the DATA on your computer so back that shit up.
Is that expensive and time consuming all to maintain archives you will never need if all goes well? Yes, it is. But this is your business and you don't want to lose all of the work you've done, especially if you care about your work and are proud of it. If you don't have the money, do the best you can, and save up so you can afford the security of having your work backed up and kept safe.
Do I take my own advice in all of these matters? No, not yet, but I know that I should. Part of the problem is that I'm extremely reluctant to spend money on external hard drives; when you read the reviews it's hard not to notice that HALF OF THEM ARE NEGATIVE. They fail, they are poorly designed, they're loud, they overheat, THEY FAIL, etc.
This has some promise though: the Thermaltake Hard Drive Dock
. Instead of buying a bunch of external drives (with their funky, clunky, fucked up designs and tendency to fail), installing a bunch of internal drives (which you don't have infinite amounts of space to house) or setting up a server, you can hot swap naked hard drives which is cheaper, saves space, saves time and is really convenient for maintaining backups especially if you are putting them in a safe or if you don't want to buy drives with lots of storage just because you feel like you NEED to since you only have so much room in your case. I haven't bought one yet, but it's a huge relief just to know it exists. There are loads of other benefits, like being able to access laptop-sized hard drives (I have one of those packed away with stuff I'd like to get at) and being able to switch out hard drives almost as casually as if they were game cartridges.Yes, I enjoyed watching the dorky little geek porn video.
Any webwhores with further suggestions or people with special insight on this stuff, feel free to comment; I would love to read more advice from people who take porn and blog backups seriously.
Labels: advide to porn hopefuls, secrets of webwhore success, shopping, technical, webwhore insights, work
Sunday, September 07, 2008
From the gallery of 150 photos I posted for members yesterday:
The leopard print dress I bought at a thrift store for around $10. The nylon stockings are from StockinGirl
(I can't remember exactly which style and color they are; they MAY have even come from one of their bargain grab bags). The gold pumps were also bought used from the Portland Red Light on the cheap. The gloves are just the generic cheapies you can buy at costume shops. The "string" style garter belt is from Victoria's Secret which I chose because it looks better with the orange panties from Ross (Dress For Less) than our nice thick six strap belt would:
Basically there is not one thing in this ensemble that cost more than $15. Unless you count the time it took to shop for and assemble them, which I do.
Today is show day so if you want to chat with me and watch me masturbate on cam, join my site
and go to the LIVE SHOWS page for members
. I've got a SexCamCentral show at 1 pm Pacific / 4 pm Eastern and another on Camz at 9 pm Pacific / midnight Eastern. Delia
has her Camz show at 4 pm Pacific / 7 pm Eastern.
Labels: gloves, money, PHOTOS, shopping, webcam shows, webwhore insights, work
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Here's the latest on our conception attempts along with a fertile piece of art
and I are trying not to eat out so often; we've actually done pretty well with that this year. It's not that I mind spending the money on it because we don't go totally crazy with it, it supports local business people and I need to get out of the house SOME time, but we aren't even enjoying it that much anymore and do it more for comfort than anything else.
Anyway, we're now motivating ourselves not to eat out by listing frivolous things we want that are in the eat-out price range and focusing on those when we feel tempted. $20-$25 is our average lately since we usually split something, so at the end of every week we manage not to eat out we're rewarding ourselves with $25 each. Is that dorky? Whatever.
Since we didn't eat out for a week, I used my money plus some other in my phone sex money stash to buy her:
I feel good about my purchase, partly because it's something beautiful (way prettier than leftover mexican food) and partly because I bought it from some awesome bus-dwelling people
. It's always interesting to me when I compare what other people charge for their arts/crafts/work to what *I* charge for access to my porn, stories, shows and spycams. In many ways they're incomparable, but at first glance I have to gasp at how relatively inexpensive it was to buy something as gorgeous as this doll, something that must have taken hours to make -- something I myself can't fathom having the time, talent, skill or patience to to make. It's amazing to think about all of the life that goes into something like that from the sheep to the person collecting the wool to all of the steps in making the doll: shaping, dying and whatever else I'm clueless about.
It makes me wonder why I don't buy MORE beautiful, handmade things. I love them, but it always strikes me as a luxury/something I'll do LATER, when I don't have debt; that way of thinking is pure fucking nonsense, though. And it really seems RIGHT for me to cycle the money people spend on me as luxury/entertainment/personal support by doling some of it out to other small-business people and artists, right? On top of that I think I feel more inspired to do better work when I spend time looking at and touching other people's beautiful work. I spend most of my money on plastics and electronics and such, justifying it as being "for work", but forgetting that I need personal/spiritual juice for my work to be worth doing.
On Saturday I'm doing my civic duty at our county convention as an Obama delegate; I've canceled my shows that day rather than rescheduling them; there was no way I could get my other work (shoots, webmastering, etc.) done this week if I crammed show day into another slot. What I *have* done, though, is put a chat session at 9 pm Saturday night
. I know that's probably going to make it unattendable for some people, but I'm not sure when I'll be home from the thing and want to have dinner and a break in between (my social juices being in always short supply).
Labels: art, budget, customer relations, links, money, politics, priorities, shopping, things I treasure
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Yesterday and Today
YESTERDAY AND TODAY
Not much time to blog, so here's the rundown of events:
Yesterday we went to Delia
's therapist for the first time (and kind of mine, too, since we're doing a lot of it as a couple, so I guess she is OUR therapist, which is very cool). I'm really excited about her and looking forward to Delia's next appointment next week. The biggest coolest thing about Dr. P is her sex positivity, and her positivity in general; she doesn't approach things in a "let's figure out what's wrong and broken with you and try to fix it" but more of a "let's figure out what you want to celebrate about yourselves and in life and make that happen". That's a cheesy and shallow sounding summary, but I'm really happy to be seeing her and EXTREMELY RELIEVED that she's not only okay with sex work, but seems to think it's fucking awesome. She's a little unconventional as a counselor in her willingness to express congratulations and "good for you" messages, but that coachy/mentor vibe is something I really like. I came away from the first visit with lots of blog fodder, so I hope to follow up on a few of those ideas later.
After the appointment with Dr. P we brought a jar of change to a store with a Coinstar machine that does a straight no-fee exchange if you get an Amazon gift certificate instead of cash (thanks, Matisse
, for letting your readers know about that; fyi everyone: not every coinstar machine has that capability so you should look it up on their site before you get too excited). We got exactly enough money to buy exactly what we need: an electric water kettle
(and thanks to MY readers who tipped me off that such things exist and are splendid). Now that Delia stopped drinking coffee and switched to green tea it will benefit both of us. Anyway, I had WAY too much fun feeding the coins into the machine and listening to them being sorted in its guts. It felt like Christmas with the best new toy in the world -- I totally love shit like that.
Today we went to Delia's first laser hair removal appointment and did a little bit of book shopping. We've been cleaning house since we got home and really enjoying it; we are gradually improving our housekeeping habits and I'm starting to love it. The washer and dryer help a lot, and tonight the coolest part about cleaning up has been using it as a time to really look at and appreciate the things we have. Since we're not in a hurry for visitors to come over and are just tidying for fun, I am really SEEING the things I'm touching, and I'm feeling blessed noticing how much cool stuff I have. I have pretty socks and pretty dresses and pretty colors and pretty books and interesting magazines and pretty jewelry and things that smell good and pretty shiny things. In a tiny red box we have our wedding rings from our previous marriages nestled next to each other. They are pretty and special.
Anyway, it's been a long couple of days with a lot of time spent on the road so we're going to watch some television and have some quiet time before I come back into my office to work on my update for members.
Labels: mundane, sex work, shopping, thanksgiving, therapy
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Dairy for the Lactose Intolerant
DAIRY FOR THE LACTOSE INTOLERANT
Full Gallery & video appearing now in my Members-Only.
Join TastyTrixie.com or SpyOnUs.com to see more of my big natural boobs.
I admit it: sometimes I'm mesmerized by images of my own breasts. I love the shapes, colors, and textures in this little screen grab from a video I posted today. It's a flattering image; they look pretty near perfect to me. Okay, I'm lying. They look totally fucking perfect to me as far as big ones go.
We just got home from a long day of shopping in preparation for a conference we're going to next week. It's for transgendered people and their significant others. I'm excited about it; I like structured events with classes and stuff, and I can't wait to find out how to refine my "identi-T". It's not a swingers' convention or a porn conference or any of that, though, so don't expect us to come home with any wild or crazy stories; in fact, we're both a little apprehensive about how we'll be perceived as a couple with porn sites. There's a distinct probability that a lot of people there will have issues with that or be suspicious of us because of it so we'll not be wearing t-shirts with our domain names printed on them, but our sites ARE part of our "identi-T's" so we're also not going to avoid talking about what we do.
Labels: announcements, body parts, gender issues, natural boobs, PHOTOS, shopping
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
HEAD CLEANERAfter waiting half an hour yesterday for our internet connection to return in time for our shows
, it was time to shit or get off the pot; we decided to cancel and put our time to better use than repeatedly dialing the cable company.
We left our downed-connection at home and drove over forty miles (over 80 round) to the nearest Best Buy so we could get a MiniDV camcorder head cleaner; our videos have been coming out with some bizarre chirps and bleeps and wacky messy visual disturbances and it took me a few months to realize it's probably because the heads are dirty. I'm not so smart about those things. Too bad I just spent hours downloading six videos the other day and will have to redo at least some of them to reap the benefits of the newly cleaned heads.
Anyway, I hope the cleaned-up video for members will make up a bit for the lost show. I also scheduled a make-up show for Friday evening
Speaking of head cleaner, my return to Ritalin has been treating me well. I do feel like I need to post a status report for voyeurs so they'll know when I'm medicated and when I'm not (because my behavior IS noticeably different) since I don't have enough of a stash right now to take it consistently and have no idea when I'll get an appointment with a doctor (I left a voicemail with my psychiatrist yesterday but then I pushed the wrong button and have no idea if I actually saved/sent the message) PLUS I have no intention of taking all three doses every single day. For one thing, a girl has got to eat; most of the time food is not very appealing when you're on stimulants. Just as an example, since yesterday was a special day (May Day, five year anniversary of my site, etc.) I wanted to fully enjoy good food and not have any of my natural tendencies repressed or subdued so I didn't take any pills.
The ability to take medication vacations is one of the things that I like about stimulants; they don't stay in your system very long (four hours for what I take), they don't take weeks or months to start working, you can take them as needed or not, and you're not going to have a total meltdown if you decide to go without them (though of course you will have all your ADD or ADHD symptoms come back, sometimes rebounding in an exaggerated way like a kid with a mild case of Tourettes who has managed to control most of her tics all day at school and then comes home and unloads a volley of pent-up energy; it's not the same thing, but is the only thing I can imagine that might feel similar except without the holding-it-in part since the meds take care of that without any conscious, painful effort).My apologies to those of you making it through this entire entry but aren't really interested in this stuff. I would try to keep some of this to myself but it seems like there's a significant number of readers and members who find ADD and stimulant talk useful/interesting, and it definitely helps me to blog about it.
Bubblegum lovers: since dry mouth is a side effect of stimulant use I am counteracting that by chewing and blowing more than normal on my spycams.
Labels: announcements, attention deficit disorder, bubblegum, drugs, food, health, mundane, ritalin, shopping
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Two favorites enjoyed today: hot sex and Lu's "little schoolboy" extra dark chocolate cookies. FUCK YES.
Today during my show someone asked if my boobs are getting bigger; the answer is "yes". They're getting bigger because I'm gaining weight. Even though I joined the gym and have been exercising more the past month, I've also been going hog wild with junk food, and I put all of that weight on my torso (boobs and belly) and face. Honestly I've been anxious and tense a lot and not dealing with it very well; my quick stress fix is salty carbs -- chips, buttery white pasta, buttered and salted tortillas, etc. It's not that I have any major stressors in my life right now, I'm just not coping well with the small things. I am working on it, though.
I know that there is nothing except myself preventing me from improving circumstances that dissatisfy me (debt load, mediocre quality of work, living hours from family, etc.). I do have it pretty fucking good, but my "job"/jobs constantly morph and evolve so that I always have to rebalance and recalibrate. For example, right now my job involves more shopping and costume/shoot planning and location-hunting than I ever imagined in my life. I know it sounds like fun, and sometimes it is, but it's also extremely time-consuming, detail-oriented, and stressful because our budget is limited. I'm not the kind of girl who just LOVES shopping (unless it's shopping for books or music) so it's really just pretty fucking weird and exhausting for me.
I know, it sounds like such a prissy shithead thing to bitch about: Oh god!! All of this SHOPPING is making me so WEARY! I'm just working my FINGERS to the BONE!!
And actually, I'm sure a lot of our members would be happier if we just shot basic amateur-looking hardcore at our house and didn't worry about finding cute little cottages to rent and fancy nylon stockings to wear. When I acknowledge that, then I feel discouraged and confused about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it and how I'm doing it and I don't bother to take the time to remind myself that what we do makes sense and is good (example: Delia's
hose and hosiery "look" sets her apart from other sites in her niche).
Anyway, I regret bitching about this stuff and should start setting money aside to talk to a professional because I think I just need to vent and spend more time getting to the heart of whatever it is I want most. It's not that I don't like what I do, it's that I get frustrated when doing one thing means that I'm not doing another. I want to do more (and do ALL of it BETTER), but at the same time I feel exhausted, hypercritical, depressed, anxious and overwhelmed.
Oh well, I need to finish my members-only update right now and pack for a shoot we're doing at my mom's house Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I had to wait for the video to upload anyway so this entry wasn't a *total* waste of time.
Treating myself to a massage this morning and time to read has definitely calmed me down a bit. My period starts tomorrow so wish us luck at being productive during a time that I usually set aside for pure laziness.Thank you, members (past and current) who tolerate my mood swings and support what I do.
Labels: body parts, food, mundane, shopping, webwhore insights, work
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Permission to Postpone
PERMISSION TO POSTPONE
Okay . . . we just got back from a productive shopping trip and I'm granting myself permission to postpone my update. We have COMPANY; you wouldn't want me to neglect Kris
, would you?
Some of you may be wondering if we've been spending our time together eating box lunches and giggling about how much we love cock, but there's been none of that, nor do we have plans to shoot anything like that. Plus, Kris doesn't do hardcore anymore (and yeah, I think licking carpet qualifies as hardcore). She does want to try to get in some fetish shoots, though so we might get around to something erotic (yet inexplicit) tomorrow. If not tomorrow, next time.
It's been fun just to talk and hang out. I mean, REALLY fun.
I bought 25 pairs of panties tonight for Delia
and I. We went to Ross ("Dress for Less" - if you're a poor bargain-hunter on the west coast you know where I'm talking about) so for $250 we were able to get a cartload of stuff that qualifies as costumes for our sites. We got Delia some shoot-worthy dresses (example: we got THIS DRESS
at Ross awhile back) and I got some tops that make my boobs look TOTALLY GINORMOUS.
Labels: announcements, friends, money, mundane, shopping
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Yesterday a bottle of my newly-crowned "favorite" lube
arrived from FurryGirl's vegan sex shop
. I LOVE THAT STUFF! I've been loyal to hydra-smooth for years now, but this Hathor stuff is way better.Tucker
and I wasted very little time putting the new lube to good use; after going almost two whole weeks without actual partnered sex, my pussy REALLY needed the extra slipperiness to help ease in his big meaty sausage and even then -- OW. It hurt for a minute there. But then it stopped hurting and we enjoyed one (two?) of those elusive simultaneous orgasms. That's what happens when you're both really horny and you can only last five minutes before you come.
Okay -- I've got another chat session scheduled at 10 am (pacific) and there doesn't appear to be any problem with the chatroom this morning so all should be smooth sailing. FYI: I'm looking pretty rough, it being morning and all, so don't expect anything "sexy" (unless glasses and matted hair arouse you).
Labels: announcements, SEX, shopping
Sunday, January 21, 2007
My Funny Bid
MY FUNNY BID
Oh god help me.
I was trying to find a bargain on a monitor on ebay, found a reasonable 17" NEC (I have tremendous brand loyalty in the monitor department), have been waiting until the last couple of minutes to bid, and when I did, the highest bid was $81.51. So I put my max bid at $92.51.
Errr . . . I *thought* I did, anyway. Turns out I didn't hit that period quite hard enough so my maximum bid was $9,251.00. FUCK ME. A missed period is ALWAYS stressful, you know?
Fortunately the auction just ended with me winning (what a surprise, right?) and not too much damage done (winning bid: $125 plus the usual gigantic shipping fee).
Oh well. I haven't been able to use my new computer (sitting in its box in the living room for over a week) yet since the only spare monitor we have is the size of a minicooper so this will be money well spent.
This is just one example of the kind of work I find myself doing that I really really really don't like all that much: the shopping, the reservation-making, the bargain-hunting, blah blah blah. Shopping is about the FARTHEST POSSIBLE ACTIVITY FROM SEXUAL PLEASURE THAT I CAN CONJURE. Seriously, shopping is the polar opposite of sex and I've had about all I can stand of it this past month (and have more to come). I can definitely imagine having a personal assistant who does a lot of shopping and hotel selections for me (of course I will have final approval over most of her choices) and all of the annoying grunt work of completing the transactions, making the calls, and stuff. SHE will never accidentally bid over $9k for a monitor. Not my "girl", no.
Labels: mundane, shopping, work