My name is Trixie (aka TastyTrixie). The Wandering WebWhore is my personal blog. I'm a 30-something indie pornographer whose journal covers a variety of topics: mundane daily life, work-related reflection, sex stuff, current events, and more.
You have NO IDEA how excited I got watching that, and will continue to get as I press play over and over and over. Her thighs and butt and the rest of her just make me want to cry and scream -- so gorgeous! I have watched the other girls on that site and while some of them are lovely & I drool over them, too, Jess really deserves the prize on this one.
Every chance I got to go to the library and request that they set my friend and I up to listen to this, I WOULD. I remember it as an audio tape with a little paperback book hung in one of those baggies with plastic handles they had for mixed media, but now that my memory is jogged by this youtube video I wonder if it wasn't a filmstrip because everything about this seems so familiar, but it's probably just the narration and images, not the motion:
Anyway, I loved it. Couldn't get enough of it and listened to it OVER and OVER again. I've always loved stories that take place at night, were dark, involved sleeping, criminals, loners, outsiders . . . dark escapism that's sweetly menacing. It's weird to look back on it now and see more adult elements in it and to read this New York Times review of the book and the author and the challenge of creating both art for children and erotica for adults. I'm glad I was exposed to The Three Robbers in the seventies in public school because I'll bet that book would never see the light of day without a public lynching of the guy if it were to come out today. Nowadays you must either be 100% child-and-work-safe or resign yourself to being considered a 100% evil boundary-rapist. Take your pick. The only way people can fly under the radar is to be unsuccessful or too artistic for the general population to acknowledge you, and I'm sure this reissue of his out-of-print books is one of those things that will only be noticed by existing fans like myself.
I wish I had a magical blunderbuss to blow that bullshit right out of people's assheads. But for now I'm going to add The Three Robbers to my wishlist so I can read it to my nephew(s -- another's on the way). WITH SOUND EFFECTS!
Last night we stayed up way too late, but it was worth it to catch up a little on something we haven't had enough of lately: SEX. Watching/listening to Daniel Lanois (see below) put me into a magic place, and reaching over to feel Delia's semi-hard cock made fucking her totally irresistible. I alternated between stroking her cock and feeling her swollen, growing boobs before I got on her and came two times to her one. The whole thing was super-intense, partly because it's been a couple of weeks but mostly just because it IS.
It's super windy here today with a projected snow storm rolling in; I think we lost power last night so most of our cams went (and stayed) down until we got up. Don't be surprised if it happens some more over the next week. I *hope* it won't interfere with the shows and chat we have scheduled this weekend, but if it does? You'll know weather is the reason.
Enjoy the full moon tonight, if you can. It will probably be clouded over here.
I'm going to make myself keep exercising because it's paying off after a week of being consistent; I feel a lot better already. I did fall off the wagon yesterday and tried to tell myself getting a massage was AS GOOD as getting exercise, but sex and backrubs really aren't all that aerobic so if I want to keep feeling good, I need to do some physical work tonight.
I have galleries to post for members, but honestly I don't like them enough to post them right now so I'll put something else up and we'll shoot something better.
Let me toss some tgirl-on-tgirl porn at you before I get all personal and diary-ish(click for free pics & sample vid):
This is my favorite photo in the samples and in general that whole shoot was really hot to watch, plus I love that the resulting porn is both explicit and very sensual. I need to work on my skills as a photographer shooting people other than Delia, though. With Mandy and AmberLily I didn't do a good job of stopping them and asking them to hold "poses", so as a result there were lots of blurry and awkward shots -- good ones, too, but could've been better. We're still getting used to our new camera which is FAST, but since we don't shoot with a flash or a lot of light we still have to MODEL semi-slowly even though it's tempting when you hear the shutter flying along to dance fluidly along.
Life is good -- there are lots of things going on with me which are mostly connected with making a concerted effort to have LESS things going on and focus on a few high priority things. Right now my personal priorities are:
-exercising consistently (today will be five days in a row) -eating less sugar and starches -going to twelve step meetings & getting healthier emotionally and spiritually -cutting back on a few things to make room for a) making money more efficiently and b) doing more things that I love
The past couple of years my body has become more and more of a challenge for me to feel good about, mostly because I never got into the habit of taking care of it except for getting enough sleep. With the added pressure (and wake-up-calls) of trying to get pregnant but not being able to, it's gotten to the point where I feel really shitty with a litany of symptoms and complaints and hypochondriac fantasies. Long story short, I need to put myself and my health first before everything (and everybody) else.
A lot of times I sacrifice my own needs and desires to work which really is stupid because I can't *do* this kind of work very well when my body feels like shit and I don't provide myself with pleasure on all levels. I can barely stand to look at myself which is, ummm, pretty counterproductive for shooting porn (and editing/posting/selling it myself where I have to look at myself and love myself to do a good job). It's not that everything looks shitty, but seriously -- it's not only difficult for me to bend over to tie my shoes these days, it's PHYSICALLY PAINFUL. My guts fucking hurt.
Before people rush to simple judgments like, "duh! That's what happens when you sit on your ass all day", etc. let me offer a little perspective and extend some leniency to myself; there are definitely some hormonal problems contributing to my issues (all of the thyroid / infertility / depression / migraine / too-much-testosterone stuff and more all connected in a which-came-first/chicken-egg circle of insanity) plus the stuff we've been going through with alcoholism that no one has really been aware of or how it's been effecting us; *I* haven't even been aware of how much of my energy was going into trying to cope with it.
One of the unexpected bonuses of Delia getting sober is that I got to enter recovery too. Only I totally didn't anticipate how hard it would be or that I would totally fucking freak out (which I did, surprisingly, really fall-the-fuck apart the first month and couldn't really understand why when I thought I would just feel relieved and everything would be bliss and perfection). Now that Delia is sober and I'm not constantly thinking about her and trying to control her drinking, I'm left with the way bigger, scarier challenge and problem of mySELF and my own fucked-upedness. Patterns of behavior and sickness that I had before Delia and I ever even met.
I feel really optimistic, excited and fortunate right now, but I also feel like I need a lot of space and time and patience to get healthy in more ways than one. It takes more than a week or a month or three months or a year to feel relief, to figure out what to change (and what IS changing whether you want it to or not), to adapt, and to grow into new ways of doing things. I'm kind of tired and have a lot of stuff to process and let go of so just mending my body, our relationship and going to meetings right now is enough to keep me very occupied. I'd say that I'm sorry I don't have more left over to spread around and to keep doing all the things I was trying to do, but I'm not sorry. I'm happy to be focused on what's important.
Note: I'm leaving comments open for people who want to remark on the Delia & Mandy shoot or those who have their own personal sharing/relating on the subjects I talked about, but I usually do not feel helped by comments containing unsolicited advice, analysis of me/us/our lives and/or criticism even when I know they're well-intentioned.
Tonight's ending on a very positive note that could even be viewed as a metaphor for other things going on in our lives; we finally installed a second hard drive for storage on my main work machine so I'm moving big files off my weighted-down C drive. It feels like a fresh start! Right now I'm filling up some of that space by transferring non-work photos over to this machine so I can enjoy playing with shots we've taken for fun/to learn about our camera.
November 20th: a buck Delia spotted in our neighbor's backyard:
Our "new" camera (Nikon D300) has been therapeutic for me, making me stop and take time out to really LOOK and lose myself in details outside of myself. I'm not the kind of person who tries to capture EVERYTHING with a camera -- I definitely appreciate being in the moment with family, friends and on vacation -- but when we're at home (which is the same as being at work unless we make a really concerted effort for it not to be) doing the daily grind it's a big challenge for me to get out of my head. But now, when something mundane and beautiful captures my attention I feel justified in grabbing the camera, ostensibly to learn to take better photographs, and spending 5-20 minutes to really SEE and try to understand what I'm seeing: the light, the textures, the motion . . . challenging myself over what's real and not real because it can look so different viewed with my eyes compared to how it's captured by the camera. Immersing myself in all those different versions of truth and light and darkness and the stories we instantly create and details we insert after pulling them out of our asses when we think we're looking at our surroundings.
Looking out our window a few hours ago:
We actually bought three 500 GB hard drives months ago for three different machines and up until today, had only installed ONE of them because of little nuisances like not having Dell's annoying little drive "caddies", not having serial ATA cables with the 90 to 180 degree corner jobbies so the case will close properly, me despising crawling around on the floor fucking with all the cables and cords tangled around dust bunnies, etc. If you heard me screaming last night it was when I bashed my elbow into the corner of my desk during that process. Anyway, we finally took care of it and I ordered everything we need to install a couple more on other machines.
The past couple of days I had the alarm set for 8:30 in the morning to try to get us back into a groove of semi-normalcy; at least I *thought* I set the alarm for 8:30. Turns out I forgot to adjust the ipod when the time changed so we were actually being woken up at 7:30 which just didn't feel right. We'll try again tomorrow. Maybe I'll even start my day by going outside with the camera.
*Last night I enjoyed a conversation with my wanker in which I wasted lots of time raving about this Teddy Thompson fellow and a performance we saw on Later with Jools Holland. Here it is, and it slays me:
I've only downloaded one of his songs (a cover of "She Thinks I Still Care", one of my all-time faves) because there's no way I can narrow it down so I'm trying to hold out to be able to buy some of his albums, though I will probably download his cover of Leonard Cohen's "Tonight Will Be Fine":
Here are some webcam grabs I took today followed by a less-attractive (but slightly more entertaining) video we shot a couple months ago when we were camping and getting our weeny roasting sticks ready:
During an idle search for free porn from one of my favorite porn stars, Chloe, I ran across the infamous Chloe Sevigny blowjob scene that I, for one, had never heard of until now even though the (art, not porn) movie (The Brown Bunny) came out in 2003:
I've always liked Chloe Sevigny so maybe that contributed to my feeling that the scene is very hot, real and intimate, but when I started googling to find out more about the scene and the movie, I found a blog entry CRITICIZING her "performance" as "sub-par at best". The blogger went on to say that she could have done a much better job herself. Then her commentators decided the scene was probably faked, maybe even with a prosthetic penis (one said that Vincent Gallo didn't seem "the type" to have that large of a cock).
I really despise people who sit at home on the internet criticizing the sex other people have. It's not that I don't appreciate seeing a really beautiful cocksucker with mad BJ skills, but that doesn't take anything away from other blowjob scenes. It would never have crossed my mind to critique this scene in any way; I can only see hotness - she looks and sounds amazing and totally into it, and the action seems recognizably real (to me, at least). I seriously don't understand what other people are thinking, but they strike me as bored, desensitized, horrid little people. Not that I myself have never seen sex scenes that have made me cringe, but Jesus CHRIST! If I were to go on my own rampage about the so-called "porn culture" I'd say this is one its most lamentable characteristics: judging all sex by some artificial porn-blockbuster standard.
Maybe I'm touchy about this because I've been on the receiving end of these critiques myself from people who think that because we have spycams and do live shows that we're asking to be rated and critiqued like we're in the fucking sexual Olympics or something. Regular sex just isn't GOOD enough for some people anymore, even when it's clear that the people having it are totally lost in it and enjoying themselves. I don't even think it's a "porn culture" thing so much as an "extreme sports culture" thing. Like if your actions don't require a recommendation from safety experts for knee pads and a helmet (which of COURSE you will shun because you're a porn/sport DAREDEVIL!) then you're (yawn) BORING and under-skilled. And the internet invites everybody to be a critic and demonstrate BAD FORM in manners and humanity. Ugh!
She sucked her ex-boyfriend's cock on film. What THE FUCK is the big deal? For real! I don't get it. What business do other people have judging her for it? Clearly we haven't become so pornified that people have discarded their fucked up judgmental senses of "decency" and emotionally retarded moral outrage. I know this was five years ago, but I doubt the response would be any different today. People. Suck. COCK. They always have and they always will. And FYI, a BJ has to be really REALLY bad to not be lovely.
Okay, sex with Jimi Hendrix is definitely the stuff fantasies are made of so I'm definitely curious about seeing his purported sex tape with two chicks. Looking at the preview video, I'm not convinced it's him (the face the guy's making looks like someone doing a comedy skit) but as a chick the mere IDEA or suggestion of fucking Jimi Hendrix is enough to send me into a groovy orgasmic hallucination. I'm almost afraid to watch it and have the fantasy ruined; I'm not the only person to feel that way, either.
I also have mixed feelings about the women in the video who are not identified and if the film *is* authentic/wasn't staged (which I doubt), it's kind of gross that the women apparently haven't been identified meaning they're likely to still be alive but they haven't given consent and won't be compensated, and we in the porn industry will be making money off of them since they're the ones front and center in the video, with "Jimi" only making brief appearances. While their anonymity facilitates fantasizing about sex with him, it makes me uncomfortable the way they're being discusses by the press as non-entities.
Living in Western Washington my whole life, there are basically three Elvises: Elvis (duh), Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain. And two of them are the stuff of sex dreams.
Hmmm. . . maybe an Elvis & Jimi threesome? Or would that be too much . . .
Are you surprised that this is a huge turn-on to me?
Seriously -- it makes me HOT. Those of you who know me well can tell I'm being honest because any guy who sounds sort of like Chewbacca is going to get me hot (I never had an eye for Luke Skywalker; it was *all* about Chewie and Han Solo . . . well, and Princess Leia, but anyway); I also dig their disparate heights. I *might* have been even more receptive to it after first enjoying a couple of other la Pequeña Amy Winehouse videos to get me in the mood. They are perfect -- BRILLIANT! Here's one of them:
I wish my porn was that awesome. This goes in the "inspiration" folder.
Happy St. Patrick's Day (and happy 35th birthday to me)!
From a set of photos I'll be posting later today for members:
Irish girls do it paler and doughier:
Cameltoe in clover green:
We've had sex four mornings in a row hoping to fertilize the egg that I popped on Friday. Sunday morning was just for good measure ;). It really relaxed me so I went back into a blissful sleep afterwards, then got up and spent many hours doing housework. I'm not an efficient cleaning person because I get easily distracted and roam from room to room, but when I just allow myself to enjoy the process it's actually really soothing to me. It was nice to get away from the computers and pay attention to our surroundings. While we are waiting to find out whether or not our conception attempt was successful I want things to be as calm and relaxing as possible and also focus my energy on grounding myself in my body and home. Peace is a state of being I usually have to work towards to achieve; I would like to practice more to get to the point where it comes more naturally. This is especially important now that I want to become a parent.
I have a couple of hour-long chats scheduled today so that our members can come in and kiss my ass with birthday well-wishes. They are at noon and nine pm (Pacific Time). I'm also hoping to fit in some time for more personal blogging and some exercise. My family is going to be spending a few days with us later this week to celebrate my birthday so I don't know how much I'll be able to accomplish site-wise while they're here.
I'd like to point out a few of my favorite free porn galleries I've posted over on Trixie.com and explain what I like about them:
RONI OUTSIDE IN A WHITE GOWN First of all, I really admire Roni, her site, her shows, and her style. And I was *this close* to masturbating to the photo of the water gushing over her feet.
REDHEAD IN A FIELD WEARING CUTOFFS & BIKINI I confess that anything depicting love between a girl and her horse arouses me. I know that sounds sick and wrong, but just the suggestion of it is enough for me to daydream (which I prefer to anything horrifyingly explicit and real). And I really like the shape of her legs and that she looks like she's really country.
NAUGHTY JULIE GIVES HEAD I am a big fan of Naomi Watts/love the way she looks AND I love Julie, so seeing Julie look so much like Naomi in that second clip? SENDS me!
"TEMPTING TRANNY" ANGELINA This might be the prettiest glam hardcore tgirl gallery I've ever seen and I *love* the way the guy is manhandling her; I really love images that show a man's arms wrapped around a woman with his hands on display on her rear or sides or stomach or thighs. It's a really potent sight for me, and the guy in this set has really beautiful hands.
TRUTH OR DARE Those of you who know me probably don't need me to point out my trigger(s) on this one.
OH MY SIDEBURNS! Lewdly set up to perfection, and the second clip is just . . . wow. Really fucking hot. And the bare feet, bad teeth & moaning in the last clip? Gah!!! Hotness!!!!
This is the edition I have of Peyton Place. I totally should have given my hair lady a bigger tip for letting me keep it. Anyway, if you haven't already read, it YOU SHOULD!
This week I've been working on Trixie.com; I'm making it a place for people to get more of my blog entries all in one place. I want people to have a reason to visit it every day, if not for the blogging then for the free porn. As I develop more of my domains into little niche-oriented blog sites I think it will be cool to have all of those posts feed into one bigger site instead of people who know me jumping around from one blog to the others.
I really want people to get in on seeing ALL of the work we're doing instead of just a narrow chunk of it. Towards that end it helped last year to start giving our members access to ALL of our sites instead of just one. Syndicating a handful of our best (or most fun) blogs on one site is like the free-side version of that.
Whenever I feel badly for our members watching our spycams seeing us having awkward lazy sex, I can soothe myself by simply watch this video of Gene Simmons and a bored blonde in flip-flops going through the motions of sexual intercourse.
Do celebrities not know how to fuck? I'd hate to see how bad the sex is that they have when they're OFF camera.
Good job on the condom and the candles, though. For a moment when he was unwrapping the rubber I thought maybe he was actually taking out money and counting it for her; losing that glimmer of hope was more disappointing to me than seeing the average-sized penis (which wasn't a big surprise given the overcompensation with the tongue).
I have a feeling I'm going to regret posting these little video rants with my thoughts and reactions to the whole "Letters from Working Girls" debate. And you may very well regret listening to them; honestly, they probably won't make sense to you unless you read the back story here:
Can I just apologize in advance for being a sputtering asshole? Oh, and I realize by posting this I'm probably just driving my own little slice of traffic to her; in spite of how my blustering sounds, that's more than fine with me. Also, I am NOT speaking for anybody or on the behalf of anybody but myself.
Oh, you know how I said I couldn't find a picture of Susannah Breslin? I *did* find a video of her:
She reminds me of Selma Blair (hot!) which makes me even MORE interested in finding out exactly what type of sex work I can hire her to perform. Watching her talk about a book of short stories she wrote and hearing her blur the line between truth and fiction to the point where I can't tell if the book is, indeed, short (fictional) STORIES she wrote about "aberrants" like "midget porn stars" OR nonfictional essays about real people. Does anyone know? The promo piece reinforces my sense of her as someone who's less interested in being true to people's real stories in the sex industry and more interested in harnessing our curiosity about them to market entertaining tales of our perceived deviance for her own gain. Again, I don't so much mind someone exploiting a resource (I'm not someone who thinks there's no room in the world for pimps) as I mind someone bullshitting everyone about that being their primary objective.
And hey, I don't want to make it sound like my own hands are clean; I've used a lot of the same tactics (or would if I could unclutter my mind long enough to APPLY the techniques of efficient exploitation), just not very well. So go on, everybody! GET that publicity! GET that traffic!! USE WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN!!! Wankers send you material? THAT IS BLOG FODDER! Someone wants to give you content without getting anything in return except the pleasure of putting it before an audience? TAKE it and USE it! Let Susannah Breslin be your guide!
Oh, and I wouldn't argue with her about Susie Bright being a sex worker. The quickest reason I can give (which still probably doesn't make sense)? She has confessed to her own personal fantasies that are so taboo as to be considered obscene by our government just to talk about them. Maybe Breslin has, too, though and I'm just not familiar enough with her (sex?) work to know.
Note: with the amount of time and energy I've wasted on this compared to the MAJOR stuff I ignore in my blog, you might think engaging in this little brouhaha is somehow more important to me than other things; it's not. It's just one of the few "discussions" I've been involved in lately and enjoyed, probably because it was mostly smart women doing the discussing (and yeah, Breslin is one of those women, too).
Still, it's crazy that this movie (which, if you HAVE to label it as catering to either a "gay" or a "straight" audience is OBVIOUSLY better marketed towards consumers in the straight marketplace than the gay market) is being recognized at GayVN but wasn't at AVN. If I remember correctly, Dacia said AVN got rid of their "bi" category; right now I can't find any of her many posts about this matter and bisexuality in the porn industry so I can't vouch for that detail. Anyway, The Bi Apple at Gayvn is a reminder of the bizarre standards in our society (that the porn industry REFLECTS, but I don't think CREATES) that male bisexuality is rarely acknowledged as common, normal or even possible; most people still subscribe to the belief that men are either straight OR they're gay with absolutely no in-between. That attitude flies so directly in the face of common sense, plenty of research and everything that is readily observable about male sexuality that you can't deny we must have a MASSIVE agenda in suppressing the truth and perpetuating homophobia to the point where we'd rather sound totally insane in the membrane that admit most guys are wired to get off on both cock AND pussy.
I just read Augusten Burrough's Sellevision and one of the FUNNIEST things about it was his fantasy portrayal of the porn industry as an open, bi-sexy, anything-goes atmosphere which it absolutely is not. His gay male protagonist can't get a straight job anymore so he decides to try porn "acting"; when Max tours the studio it's described as one that makes BOTH gay porn and straight porn, and has performers of all orientations lounging around ready to fuck both men and women; there's the star Trixie Thunderpussy (no relation) and the male fluffer, Shaun. Max does his impromptu screen test with Rocky right on the set of "Pizza Parlor Pussy"! If only that kind of shit really happened! It was the most naive, idealized, unreal things I've ever read coming from such a jaded author and just goes to show how little people, even sexually sophisticated people, know about the porn industry. The porn industry is crazily segregated and extremely UNcomfortable with natural variations in human sexuality.
My impression of a lot of men in the porn industry is that they fancy themselves reinforcers of decency and "standards". They all think that they know what All Men Want, they all think they know what sells (if they haven't tried it or don't like it then it can't POSSIBLY be marketable). They are very intent on maintaining their perceived boundaries between false dichotomies like bad and good, gay and straight, fat and sexy, fetish and non-fetish, hairy and clean, women and men, old and young. Blurred lines horrify them and the only stuff they'll accept that pushes outside of "normal" is extreme hardcore performed on women. The only arena where they seem interested as a group in challenging accepted standards is on women's physical and human limits. Okay, we've established women can take two cocks in the ass . . . how about expanding that asshole to two cocks, a fist, a frozen turkey and a barbie doll? And now that we've found that unilaterally referring to women as either sluts or whores or both is easy AND effective how about we really push the envelope by calling them cum-dumpsters and human toilets more often? YEAH! This is really NEW and CUTTING EDGE!
We should all think it's weird and wacky that the more we are able to know about sex and human behavior, the more restrictive and willfully stupid we've become, and the more feminism progresses, the more porn (along with all other media) seeks to put us back in our traditional places. It seems obvious we're in denial and trying our hardest as a group to maintain norms that should have been blown to smithereens. As individuals I think we really need to call bullshit on each other and question our motivation for being so rigidly resistant to acknowledging basic human truths, like, ERECT PENISES MAKE PEOPLE HORNY. Duh.
Does it seem as though I just went off on a tangent, switching from bisexual porn to feminism? I wish I had the time and the brain to do a better job of connecting the dots, but it does all have to do with gender to the point where sometimes I wonder if we're afraid that if men started openly acknowledging how much they want to suck cock that we wouldn't know what women are good for anymore.
Note: I do not think porn featuring women in submissive or even degrading roles is intrinsically evil or "bad" or harmful, nor do I think people should automatically feel guilty for getting off on that; my problem is with the PREVALENCE and thoughtlessness of that type of porn to the relative exclusion of other (and often healthier/more "normal") scenarios, and the ease with which people in the industry accept it contrasted with their disdain for other types of scenes.
Anyway, I hope The Bi Apple wins; I'm going to be watching Dacia's twitter like a hawk to see the outcome.
We saw/heard these guys perform "Patty Lee" last night on Conan and can't stop replaying it over and over again; the sound and performance are SMASHING, embodying everything I would like my porn to be:
I haven't been this excited about hearing something new (to me) in a long time, and I'm SERIOUS that it inspires me as a pornographer/entertainer. I love hearing something so beautiful and defiant and seeing someone portray the most committed expressions of sensuality and felt belief in a way that's so funny and human and TRUE. I watch that guy dance and hear that Big Country-ish guitar and the THRILLING neener of a song like "Been Caught Stealing" and I FEEL the agonizingly hysterically-funny beautiful truth of it; I can totally relate. I'm in love.
Not too great, but I have good excuses: I still have a cold and yesterday had to get cavities filled; it sucks to have to keep your mouth open while you're congested and someone fills your mouth with sharp metal implements, cotton, juices, and powdered teeth. None of these things can be bonafide as horrible, but they're just bad enough that I feel pathetic and in need of comfort from warm, sloppy attire and TV. Since it's also *possible* (but unconfirmable at this point) that I'm pregnant, I don't want to take more than some Tylenol and plain one-ingredient Robitussin.
Anyway, we HAD to watch the tube last night to enjoy coverage of the Iowa caucuses. We both cried watching and listening to Obama. I hope (nay, I PRAY) he'll win. At the very least he'd be a President we can see and hear without mass quantities of people wanting to rip their ears off and gouge out their eyes just to stop THE PAIN from entering their brains.
I know my simplistic perspective on this will sicken some of my readers, but I seriously believe what matters most is that our next president is someone who leads our spirits and inspires us. I'm tired of being depressed. We need someone to restore our faith on a whole bunch of levels and he totally does it for me.
Barack is THE ONE. I look forward to him winning more than I ever looked forward to losing my virginity.
I own Sheila E.'s "Glamorous Life" cd and it's one of those discs that every so often I NEED to hear. I must have been about eleven when that video came out and on top of being fantastic just because the song was cool and everything about it was so Princely, it was influential to me because of Sheila E. and the way she "performs" in it:
I'm not talking about that one drumstick in her hand for show, I'm talking about her posture and commanding demeanor. The way she kicks that cymbal. Her snappy confidence and the tight execution of every move she makes (again, I know it's a whole Prince choreography thing, but still). And the knowledge that she actually IS a drummer, a good drummer, that was/is a big thing. That video and song aroused so many different kinds of excitement in me, I'm not sure I could number them. So now when we watch her on The Next Great American Band (go Clark Brothers!) I still have so much respect for her that I don't even bat an eyelash at her Christian evangelism.
We happened to turn on a PBS great performance thingy JUST IN TIME to see/hear Jeff Beck playing with a female bass player who looked about fourteen years old, her perky titty bouncing and framed by the curve of her instrument. In spite of that distraction it was obvious SHE IS MASSIVELY TALENTED and extraordinary (and, in fact, over 21). Her name is Tal Wilkenfeld and I am in love. This YouTube video doesn't do the sound/performance justice, but it gives you an idea of what made us stop everything and just drink her in, happy we were so lucky to change the channel just in time:
I love seeing talented women make mean, ugly faces while performing BRILLIANTLY.
It's too bad that when most people refer to something about a woman that's "tight", they aren't usually referring to her sharply, perfectly executed prodigious talent It's too bad that I couldn't stop looking at her booby. Or maybe it's just too bad that the combination of talent, voice, and physical provocation are such a challenge for many of us to process and comfortably accept in one package.
Anyway, I can't think of any recent female pop artist presenting herself the way Sheila E. did or does. Can you?
Going to stop now before I start posting buttloads of awesome "girl"-drummer vids.
Not the greatest-looking video, but here was our excitement for yesterday:
The brightness of the sun was totally trippy:
None of it (the snow) accumulated on the ground; it started to today, but as soon as I sent an email to voyeurs on one site to take a look at the snow falling on our outside-view cam, it turned to rain. Now it's just windy.
My goals for today are to get as much blogging as possible done and have a down-to-business meeting with Delia for us to get on track and set our goals and agenda for the week. I'm also going to try to edit and post one or two behind-the-scenes videos for the SpyOnUs.com members-only area, including a little bit higher-quality snow footage (I know, really exciting, right?).
Every sex toy connoisseur should have a glass toy. If my video (see below) doesn't convince you, perhaps this review of my first glass toy, Blue G-Spot Pleasure Swirl, will.
A lot of people love glass toys just because they're so pretty; there's a reason for the note on this one that it won't stand up on it's own: because people love to display them like they're Chihulys. Mine reminds me how much I loved marbles when I was little, not to shoot, but to hold and inspect. I would project myself into those little spheres like they were snowglobes of other planets or little mermaid shelters. The weight of the glass and the colorful ribbons and swirls inside are so pleasurable to hold and peer into.
The sexiest reason to love glass toys is that they're HARD: when you're stimulating your g-spot or prostate, you want something firm with no give, and something that gives you enough leverage to put a high level of pressure on the right spot; this toy does that with the glass and a nice amount of length to get a good grip and really grind. I've found that it also helps to have a toy with a pronounced curve if you want to really work on your g-spot and unfortunately, my first glass toy doesn't have enough of an angle for me to say it's absolutely PERFECT for that task. I still made it work, of course, because I'm a pro (haha), but for vaginal penetration and g-spot stimulation, I think I'd prefer something like THIS (with full curve) or this beauty (in a delicious large).
Not only do those toys have more pronounced curves, they have bigger, more bulbous heads which I also prefer for working over my g-spot; it's not that I need or want a huge phallus (in my next toy review you'll see that just a little bit bigger can be TOO big) but I do like a little more popping action from a dildo when I'm masturbating and more surface area for stimulating my g-spot.
After trying it out on my pussy, I decided this toy is actually the perfect size for my ass. Here, let me show you:
Video taken from webcam show archive, hence the low quality.
As many of you know, I'm not a big double penetration fanatic, but this dildo would be perfect for reaching around and sliding up my butt while Delia's cock fucks my pussy; the shaft is long enough to not require too much contortion and the straightness of the toy means she'd probably be able to feel it really well while she's inside of me.
I feel compelled to mention some of the "boring", practical reasons people (especially women) love glass toys: they're non-porous, easy to thoroughly clean, great for people with allergies, shifty pH balances, or sensitivities to chemicals (which most cheap sex toys have), and they're compatible with all lubes (unlike many silicone toys which go gloopy if you use them with silicone lubes). Glass toys are on the expensive side, but they have a long life: they won't get discolored, they won't melt in the sun, they won't tear or get bent out of shape and I have never heard of anyone chipping, breaking or shattering a glass toy either; that is saying something since I'm in an industry where people share this kind of information and talk to each other about their favorite toys, their biggest toy failures, and their sex toy accidents. We really USE our toys often and put them through a lot of abuse -- we've all dropped toys during webcam shows and shoots so none of us want anything even remotely fragile. In fact, I know a couple of chicks with their own sites who use glass toys almost exclusively -- not just because they're pretty but because they prefer the way they feel and that they're made with a safe material that doesn't give them a chemical burn.
You might wonder why I haven't reviewed my first glass toy's efficacy for clitoral stimulation; that's because I mostly use vibrators when I masturbate my clit (which means the ENTIRE network of nerves; as you saw in the video I can put my magic wand above the head of my clit and get a trickle-down effect). If I weren't so lazy, though, I'd say a glass toy of any kind would be great all lubed up and stroking a clit, especially if you were watching yourself in a mirror (yes, I like watching myself, specifically my pussy, while I masturbate); if I still lived alone, I'm sure I'd do exactly that. I would hold the glass dildo by the shaft, aim the lube-heavy head downwards, placing it just above my clit, then I'd slide the head down over my clit and up, down and up, repeatedly. I think this would work especially well with legs closed, and in this case the smaller girth and less bulbous head would work perfectly nestled between chubby labia, sliding up and down over my clit. The smooth surface of the glass is great because there's no drag with lube and you can also heat and chill glass toys.
Long story short: I can't wait to add more glass to my toybox!
If you've never been to one of my hour-long camshows with a group audience, here's the type of chatty performance you are missing:
How'd you like that? I have a show scheduled in 2.5 hours so you can get in on the real live action or even ask me pesky questions yourself that will make me groan with impatience and respond with condescension. If you're patient you might also hear me talk about a variety of bodily functions. If you're *really* patient you will certainly see my nude boobies and me having an orgasm with my hitachi magic wand.
That's also the first video I've ever posted on YouTube. Part of me would love to make weird videos for YouTube, but another part of me really detests editing video (which is why it's taking me days and days to finish the video compilation I'll finally be posting for members today). I *hate* watching footage OVER and OVER again and doing all the little time-wasting things you have to do just to produce something completely amateurish and mediocre. Fortunately I like amateurish, mediocre videos as long as they have a wee bit of personality so I don't feel totally bad about My Crappy Videos -- as long as they're getting a few people off and/or eliciting a few giggles I'm happy.
I'm also going to be posting the first in a series of questionnaires/forms for members to fill out so we can get to know them better. This is yet another task that sounds deceptively simple (just type out a few questions, Trixie -- you're a fast typist!) but took shitloads of time to concoct even after I bought a subscription to a site that does the hardest parts of the server-side coding for me. I actually enjoy doing this kind of work, though, much more than I enjoy editing video because the video stuff requires a lot of waiting around (for things to encode) and watching things over and over . . . you aren't actively working or thinking all of the time so it really makes me want to slit my throat with boredom and aggravation. The form thing actually feels much more creative to me and I actually enjoy repetitively fucking with the little details to make it work.
I have a "thing" for gloves. And men wearing suspenders. And Russian dancers. So last night? I *squealed* watching Pasha doing his solo on So You Think You Can Dance. It's not on YouTube yet that I can find, so here's his mannequin dance with Lacey:
After suffering the heartbreakingly predictable loss of Pasha coupled with his hot goodbye number, we wound up fucking. It was sweet and jolly as much of our procreative sex has been. Very wholesome. Then we watched the Supernanny and I hated on the stupid bitch mom while lusting after the Supernanny because she is SO FUCKING HOT. I think Jo may be the sexiest chick on television with her multi-faceted well-rounded hotness. She's very gal-next-door, ageless, wicked role-play fodder, in-charge (yet warm), and just gorgeous. I want to wrestle lazily with her in a pool full of pudding and play with her bouncy curls.
Here are a couple of blog entries I posted with more on "what Trixie thinks is hot":
Okay. So I watched the fucking Paris Hilton interview on Larry King the other night. I know it sounds like I'm unwaveringly harsh and disdainful of these celebrities, but the truth is I always feel compelled to watch interviews with the little tarts I dislike the most BECAUSE I HOPE THEY'LL REDEEM THEMSELVES so I can stop hating them because I don't like hating people -- I think it's mean and unhealthy. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. Example: Scarlett Johansson? Has never redeemed herself in any interview I've watched -- she consistently sounds stupid. I don't like how much I can't stand her and I know it's not HER fault that critics are so blinded by her beautiful breasts that they inanely compare her to truly amazing women like Lauren Bacall. So I try not to hate Scarlett and keep hoping something will turn up to make me actually LIKE her.
Anyway, I found my attitude towards Paris softening even while she lied through her teeth to Larry King (has never done drugs? doesn't like alcohol? Honey, I've *read* about you in ex-millennial girl's blog and she is a TRUSTED SOURCE). I found myself giving her credit for using her very average intelligence as deftly as she could to answer each question Very Carefully and in ways that were often endearing. Sure, there were things that made me wince but they made me feel sorry for her instead of hating her.
The coolest thing about Paris in her post-jail Larry King interview was how she didn't seem to try to distance herself at all from jail thing; she kept saying things a regular rich celebrity would try to avoid saying because it just sounded so common, hearing her repeat, "I've served my time" as though she's a hardened ex-con. She didn't sit there protesting that she shouldn't have been in jail at all, she was like, "I tried to follow the motto to not serve the time, but to make the time serve me." It was hysterical!!
I loved the way she sounded like a college kid who just got back from a study abroad program and found out about starving children in Africa. When she talked about wanting to help the women in jail who get out but keep coming back because they have nowhere to go but the streets when they're released, she actually seemed sincere. And when she talked about wanting to speak with a more mature voice? I thought, "good for you, Paris! Maybe Cameron Diaz will make that a goal too!"
Years ago, I actually joined the Hotel Heiress site to watch her sex tapes and I think that was part of what made me dislike her so much because she just seemed so empty and flaccid. At the same time I was able to see the appeal of her face and her bullshit act and her perky little boobs. It was depressing to watch the bad, boring sex and the window into these people's horrid interactions with each other, but it was also reassuring. You can't watch that and envy her at all -- it's just not possible. Who wants to have bad sex, bad conversation, and a totally flat ass? I don't care how rich you are, it's not worth it if you're bored by sex, can't hold a decent conversation with anyone, and can only entertain yourself by trying to look fetching.
Free clips from the scandalous Paris Hilton sex tapes:
Note: I know a lot of people would criticize the fact that I paid money to see those Paris sex videos when she doesn't get a dime from it and I could have found it free somewhere, but it was just simpler to me to join the site and not worry about downloading a virus or something. It was more expedient and I would have felt just as bad to have seen it for free as to have paid money to her exploiters.
My update is going to be late (posting tomorrow rather than today) so here's a little something to make it up to you:
How To Make An Origami Vagina:
Of course, I don't need to tell you that's actually an origami VULVA, not a vagina, right? Anycooch, it's a really hot and kinky video so I hope you enjoy watching it as much as I did.
It feels like it's been a really long day which started with going to the gym where I poured more sweat into my "workout" than usual (still barely qualifies as a "workout", but whatever) and then we had to drive to suburbia for Delia's laser hair removal consultation where I was tempted by the allure of Botox (but I did not give in, but only because it's a luxury we can't afford).
It was actually HOT today! Well, in the eighties, anyway, which is considered HOT in my book, and actually TOO DAMNED HOT in shopping mall parking lots. The drive was sublime and we took the long way home to enjoy the weather with our windows rolled down. If this is a foretaste of what's to come this summer, though, I'm going to be bitchy. I actually have a slightly sunburned face from our outdoor sushi lunch yesterday. This is why night people were invented . . .
Trixie answers pressing questions from her audience, including whether or not she likes younger men, black men, etc. She also talks about her most recent TOY purchases and the annoying obligation to be nice during her webcam shows.