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Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Over and Out
Some of you've been wondering how our family get-together with my brother went after my agonizing in this post; fortunately, it went fine but I'm still so glad it's OVER so I can stop stressing out over it. We made the trek out to my mom's yesterday and had a fairly nice visit. Sometimes I worry that Delia's just receding into the background and that some of that's my fault, but then it always seems that one person in a couple is the quiet hanger-back. Like my brother's wife who mostly hung out in the kitchen. Some people are so quiet and pleasant those of us who are more obnoxious just naturally steamroll them. Anyway, there was no mean-spirited or overt bullshit to be had towards us, though I did wonder when thank you's for the presents we brought came from the kids and I got all the hugs and thanks why that was . . . because I'm the one who's actually related to them (though haven't seen them in eight years, since one was newborn)? Because Delia's trans? Because I didn't do a good job of introducing Auntie Delia? Or just because I was the one standing there with open arms, like "HUG YOUR AUNTIE, DAMMIT!" while Delia was behind me on the couch and less accessible/approachable/talkative? And then that firm handshake my brother gave Delia after hugging me goodbye seemed to have an awkward masculine edge to it, but whatever. ***** On our way home from our family visit we got together briefly with AmberLily and her husband (Tiny aka BigD) who is too witty and well-read for me to get his jokes which mostly seem to consist of teasing us for being Democrats. They go right over my head and I wind up staring at him, completely bewildered, wishing I could keep up. Fortunately he's nice enough to try to meet in the middle, patiently reminding me, for example, of my Third Amendment rights (so I could understand the joke he was making) even when I obtusely ignored his explanation. Maybe if we got to spend more time hanging out then AmberLily wouldn't have to try to translate for us, "and now BigD is joking; that was a reference to the obscure blank and blankety blank." Anyway, I hope I haven't gotten them banned from their local McDonald's because I kept saying the "F" word and loudly talking about wet WET pussy, something I'm far more familiar with than our Constitution. My point is, I love them and BigD should be an internet celebrity. ***** Normally when we go back to the area east of Seattle where I grew up I'm thankful we don't live there, but yesterday the summer air was too seductive and familiar for me to not want to have more of it. It smelled heavily of home, especially driving through shady places along rivers. My mom's yard felt so lush and green and bushy and the porch was so . . . porchy? With the screen door? Our dog looked like she was going to melt right into the cool grass, unlike here where all the grass is dry, short, and totally dead. It smells like saltwater and high wind and dry things where we live, but where I grew up it smells like a humid valley in the summer where every dog bark is magnified - sounds don't blow away where I grew up. I hate that, but it's still home. ***** Little cell phone pic on our way home. ***** Delia's putting the finishing touches on the letter she's writing to her parents who still don't know she's trans. Labels: family, friends, nature, Pacific Northwest, Seattle |
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4 Comments:
this whole post makes me long for those summer blackberries. good, free antidote for any pain. :)
I hear you -- I love blackberries! And I swear to god this is going to be the year we finally do a blackberry-picking shoot. Somehow I always miss it or don't have the perfect old-fashioned pail to capture what free berry-picking from giant thorny bushed-out vines means to me.
Blackberries remind me of a couple of hours amongst them with a lovely lady . . . having spent most of the evening at an oceanside bar/restaurant dining and listening to music. . . then pulling over on the way home because we couldn't wait any longer . . . next day, 1,000 mosquito bites . . . no kidding. In the heat of the moment I had no idea that I was not only being eaten alive by the lady but also being eaten by a swarm of insects. I was a mess for a week but it was worth it. Do it again in a heartbeat.
BTW: Best wishes and luck to Delia on the letter writing. No easy task to say the least. If Delia still has writer's cramp how about a video? Much more personal which will also show the Delia's emotion in regards to this new revelation. Just a thought.
A video is a nice idea, but maybe after she's already broken the news in a letter. She actually has had the letter finished for awhile so it's less of writer's block and more . . . other stuff/timing. The other issue with a video is the problem of it being a shock to see her presenting as a woman immediately since the point of breaking the news is to do it gently, not like all of a sudden, which it would be in a video unless she tried to present as a man with a man voice, etc. which I don't think would work too well which is part of why we're not doing the in-person thing where she gets off the plane pretending to be a boy, breaks the news, and then goes into the bathroom and TRANSFORMS. It's too late for that.
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