Yay! I am mostly-done redesigning my members-only area
. Here's a screenshot of the main page:JOIN NOW to get full access!
I'm also working on overhauling the free area of my site and eventually this blog so it takes advantage of the added space of larger displays and everything is, at the very least, color coordinated. Here's a peek at the unfinished "clean tour"
(an alternative promotional design made especially for affiliates promoting the site who don't want any links to ANYTHING except the join page to maximize their chance of making a sale; the regular free area will look a little different and, of course, have lots of links leading off site).
After spending many hours on this on top of recently designing a site for my brother-in-law, I started feeling REALLY DISCOURAGED yesterday. Part of me really enjoys doing this kind of work (sometime after I get started and things start to come together to look pretty, but BEFORE I actually get SO SICK OF IT and SO AWARE OF MY LACK OF DESIGN ABILITIES that I never really wind up with a polished end result). At the end of all of my dogged and painstaking efforts, I still wind up with sites that look like that guy's pickup truck outfitted with the WRONG SIZE canopy. If my web designs were dresses on Project Runway I would be the one who'd get aufed for not hemming it. It just doesn't look FINISHED - it's poorly constructed! Did you just GLUE that seam together??
Part of me is pretty happy with my skill level as a webmaster; it's not really a job I even WANT to be *great* at; I'm proud of being mediocre. On the other hand, if I could stop time and take a month off to learn some of the things I don't know but WANT to know, I totally would. In a perfect (but realistic) world (where you can't actually stop time or don't have skill points like in a video game where you can buy yourself new abilities once you've proceeded far enough into the game) I would have the money to hire real webmasters and programmers to collaborate with and carry out my vision(s). I am damned fucking ready to arrive in that world so I need to work through my moments of impatience with myself and the necessity of doing these things myself so that I can get there. Eventually, I trust it will happen. I just need to work, work, work. And not scream at myself.
In the new incarnation of the free area of TastyTrixie.com I'm going to have a "help wanted" section with some specific jobs for people that I can currently barter for (example: someone installs back end scripts I don't want to muddle through on one of my sites, they get a free membership). I have realized with design, though, that I am *just* confident enough in myself that I prefer doing things in my own inefficient way if I'm not able to afford to pay someone to do things EXACTLY how I want them or guaranteed to be better than I imagined. One of my (not so good) personality traits is that I really don't like "wasting" time giving people positive feedback and being all touchy-feely; I do not make a nice boss. I just want to tell someone what to do, speak in an efficient manner about how to do it, be able to rely on it getting done on time, and not worry about someone's feelings getting hurt. I don't like having to invest a lot of emotional energy into getting something done. Knowing that, I just prefer to do things myself or to look forward to being able to compensate someone for doing them for me AND putting up with my bitch ass. When I am overwhelmed with things I want to do (work things), I sort of resent socializing. It feels like a depressing, energy-sucking obligation which is why I usually steer clear of barter arrangements and such -- the social aspect of making the arrangement and the give/take do not appeal to me. I would rather just fumble through something myself than have to, like, TALK to someone.
We started watching Touching the Void
while we ate lunch yesterday and I'm just trying to remind myself that if those fuckers could get off that motherfucking mountain alive, there's no excuse for me whining and crying over what I have left to do to make our sites look more presentable.
Now I am going to get some exercise, take a shower and go get my feet rubbed and toenails painted. I need to get out of my head. Later we're going to try to do a couple of shoots. Tomorrow we're going to the fertility clinic for Delia's last sperm deposit and I'll probably make an appointment to try to find out if something inside me is preventing me from getting pregnant (my period just started yesterday, by the way).
Labels: mundane, PHOTOS, web design, webwhore insights, work