Reflections On . . .
REFLECTIONS ON . . . Being Average
My use of the word "average" as a webwhore marketing tool has changed over the past seven years. I used to focus on the ways I was not average to try to distinguish myself from other camgirls and women with paysites. Hairier than average, more honest than average, nerdier than average, etc.
The longer I do this work, the more I value the ways in which I *am* average, partly because average is charming and partly because of the company I keep online. Most of the people I associate with in this industry are women with similar values, similarly structured businesses, and above-average smarts; next to my friends I *am* average. I now prefer to think of us as the rule instead of the exception; it's less interesting or appealing to me these days to make it sound like I think I'm extraordinary by describing myself as "not your average webwhore".
As I age and mellow into my work and my body, embracing "average" appeals to me. It looks and sounds intimately awkward and fetchingly familiar. It feels celebratory and empowering. Average exudes confidence. I'm also a fan of contrast and its erotic potential: the contrast between a thick, opaque thigh-high sock, for example, and bare skin above it is SO much sexier than a completely naked leg. The same thing applies to beauty, I think. When you notice a beautiful detail on an average (or even an ugly) woman, it's very potent and sensual. When you're average and aging, your beauty and sex appeal become magical: now you see it, now you don't. You become unreliably hot, which is very seductive because it starts to take you by surprise.
The older I get, the less interested I am in trying to be exceptional. The sound of mediocrity no longer makes me shudder; mediocrity sounds companionable. On a similar note, I no longer hate potluck food: cold noodle salads and deviled eggs are delicious!
Labels: aging, beauty standards, friends, TURN ONS, values, webwhore insights