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The Wandering WebWhore is my personal blog. I'm a 30-something indie pornographer whose journal covers a variety of topics: mundane daily life, work-related reflection, sex stuff, current events, and more. MY SITE FEED 
(outdated) F.A.Q.s About this blog OUR INDIE PORN SITES:  My Personal Porn Site  My Boyfriend's Site  My Girlfriend's Site  My Menstruation Site  All our sites combined. 
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Excerpts from "The Wandering Webwhore" appear here: 
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AMATEUR PICPOSTS: Pics of hot blondes here! Pics of couples here! Pics of big tits here! Pics of nasty acts here!   Trixie's Friends    |
Sunday, March 12, 2006
My Priorities
MY PRIORITIES In case you're curious, here are my top mundane priorities. Note: these are prioritized mundane tasks, not a high-minded ranking of my VALUES or who I love best in the world or which degrees I'd like to accumulate. 1. Get enough sleep. It's the most important task in my life. I am rarely open to compromising on sleep. I feel very very fortunate that working for myself at home allows me to take naps as needed if a compromise is necessary and I haven't gotten all of my sleep in a block. 2. Post weekly updates for members on TastyTrixie.com and TrixiesHouseboy.com (and DeliaCD.com, but Tucker takes care of that). This is the only thing I've ever happily done with reliability in my entire life. I didn't even miss an update when my site had only been open for a month and my dad died. That might sound fucked up and totally cold, but as a first-born child, maintaining the illusion that I'm responsible and that I follow through on my commitments was probably as vital a part of my grieving process as going to his funeral was. Some of my members think I'm an anal freak and I should just post updates when I *feel* like it, but I *feel* like posting them every week on a certain day. 3. Spycams up & running optimally at all times. The very first thing I do in the morning is check to make sure all of our spycams are still logged in and unfrozen. I keep our spycam site open in a browser around the clock and compulsively check it to make sure they're broadcasting. Because of equipment and computer limitations, we sometimes have to take two or three cams down while we're shooting video or editing video, or when we have to reset a machine. When I discover the cams have freaked out without my knowledge, it actually chills me to the bone, worrying that someone could have just joined and their first impression will be of NO CAMS. New, more and better equipment is always at the top of my list of things to buy, mostly to enhance our spycams and improve the quality and quantity of content we offer. 4. Respond immediately to members with access problems, cancellation requests, etc. I'm pretty horrid about responding to email *unless* it's someone who isn't getting what they paid for or doesn't want to pay for what they're getting anymore. I try to take care of these people's requests right away. 5. Pay bills on time. I'm very anal about paying my rent and credit card bills on time, and making sure I know how much money is in my checking account. Financial worries consume a good portion of my energy. 6. Avoid cancelling or being late to group shows on cam networks. My shows might be boring, but it's important to me to be there and not have a new schedule every week. When something interferes with our schedule I try to reschedule ahead of time. My spycam chat schedule (different from cam network shows) varies pretty wildly from week to week and does require more impromptu rescheduling, but again, it's extremely important to me that I'm in the chatroom when I say I'll be. When I forget a scheduled chat session it really gnaws at me. 7. Blog. Maintaining this journal with frequent updates is important to me. The quality of the entries? Not as important as the frequency. I want my site to feel alive. I want people to know and feel that keeping up to date with members through my site is obviously my top priority (second ONLY to getting enough sleep). 8. Give my Brain Breaks. Almost as important as sleep, I have to let my brain rest. This means shutting the door on chaos, getting into a room where I control and limit stimuli, and feeding myself just enough manageable and absorbing data so my mind doesn't wander and can hyperfocus on one or two things. This is why I choose to eat in bed: physical comfort and the sensual pleasure of food combined with a tv show, movie or a book is therapy to me. I cannot relax if my feet are cold. I cannot relax if air is circulating on my body. I cannot relax if elastic is digging into my skin. The more time I spend with other people, the more solitary down-time I need. This is not something I compromise or skimp on, and if people don't understand it, that's too bad. If I don't get my regular doses of down-time, I can become a very very unpleasant, unpredictable person and find it very very hard to censor myself, to speak coherently, to concentrate, to be productive, or to control my impulses. I'm happy I took Ritalin for awhile, but since I now work for myself I would rather let my ADD go hog wild and give myself the extra time I need to compensate for the cool aspects of my "disorder". As long as I don't feel guilty giving myself the room and escapes I need, I think it works out pretty well. Unfortunately, I do have to prioritize who I socialize with because there isn't a lot of time for me to work AND socialize AND balance the socializing out with ample amounts of solitude. This means the only people I spend time with are Tucker, my family, and sometimes fellow webwhores when we're also doing work shooting content. 9. Daydream. As much as I need to reign my brain in with a good book or movie, I also need to give it plenty of time to wander around. I do a lot of work in my head. It might look really unproductive when I'm staring into space, feverishly worrying a scab on my scalp with one hand while the other absently fingers my pubic hair, but I will die if I don't get to do this. It's embarrassing to be caught at this on cam, and I know I *look* really lazy, but for me it feels like my brain never rests. NEVER RESTS. Even when I'm sleeping. When I'm watching tv, reading books and eating food in a controlled environment are really the only time it gets to rest (along with doing some of my more repetitive work tasks like editing photos). If the movie or book is provocative or really good, I want to do something with the information, so even that is not a guaranteed break. I've discovered that tape flags help me get through a book without feeling compelled to grab a journal and respond to every compelling point I read -- instead I just mark the passage to insure I won't "lose" it, and can go back to it later. This daydreaming is part of "going back to it later". Because I still feel really guilty about daydreaming, and because school did very little to teach people like me how to "harness" our potential (without totally destroying it), I'm still learning how to make this a productive endeavor. I still feel guilty and self-conscious about it, but think I'm getting better at having faith in what my brain wants to do. I *know* that most of what I have done well in my life and most of what I have been proud of has been BECAUSE of my ADD, not in SPITE of it. So. I should really move "daydreaming" up higher on my list. All I have to do is a) get ahead on content & updates so we can continue posting them weekly without actually doing all of the WORK weekly, b) make more money so I can hire someone to do things like accounting and the mundane aspects of customer service involving tech help, data-entry junk, username lookups, etc., and c) schedule things so that I have bigger blocks of time (weeks or months) to focus on one project or type of work at a time (do a lot of shows for two weeks, then take two weeks off of shows to focus on a new project or learning something or writing something or doing a solid week of phone sex only or whatever). It's really hard for me to do much that's creative or emotionally engrossing when I have to switch gears as soon as my head is in the right place. We are trying to do WAY TOO MUCH that requires so many different thinking caps, it's just not as efficient and productive as we could be. And I never have a whole day where "daydreaming" is the only thing on my list. I feel like I never get to listen to myself long enough to let the important things sift through to the surface. 
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