SECRETS OF WEBWHORE SUCCESS: ENTRY 1

Hi Trixie,

I found your site while surfing around yesterday. Hands down, these are the best, most tasteful and erotic sites I've seen on the web. I would like to start my own site and webcam. Do you have any advice for a newbie in the industry? To what do you attribute your success? And are there any lessons you learned along the way that you'd like to share with me?

Thank you :) Angela

Every so often women email to flatter me with adoration and ask how to remake themselves in my image of webwhore "success". I never respond to these requests for free tutorials on "how to be a webwhore/camgirl". It's not that I don't appreciate the compliments, but I really just don't know what to say.

The whole point of running your own webwhore business is that you build upon your own strengths, resources, and personality to establish your own brand and achieve your own personal level of "success". By definition, these things vary from person to person; individuality is the essence of becoming a "success" -- you beat the competition by being uniquely you, and whether or not you attain success depends on your own goals, ambitions, and recipe for happiness. Webwhoring is so individualized and so open to a number of specialty services and different platforms of delivery, I just can't answer random questions about how to be a webwhore. Almost everything I do is based on my own desires, skills and other Trixie-specific characteristics; what works for me might not work for someone else. When I get inquiries from webwhore hopefuls, they usually tell me nothing about their own resources, strengths, personalities and definitions of success so I have no idea where to even begin advising them.

Aside from the impossibility of concocting a relevant and useful answer, anything worth saying would take hours to write and I don't have that kind of time to lavish freely upon people. There is no room in my business plan for guiding strangers down the road towards webwhore success for free. On top of that, I don't even enjoy teaching people how to do things. I enjoy mulling over abstract philosophical issues with people, not taking people step-by-step through processes. I've done enough of that kind of training and teaching in my life to know that I hate it.

Anyway, I decided to start making unordered, disjointed, and contradictory blog entries on how to become a successful webwhore, to what I attribute my "success", and other bits of bullshit webwhore wannabes might find useful. I'll write many of my "secrets of webwhore success" by applying popular "how-to" conventions: the embracing of stereotypes, generalizations, and lame adages (ex. "the way to a man's heart is through his asshole"), random quantification of business practices (ex. "by doing just three phone sex calls per week you will amplify your fetish knowledge fifteen fold in one month"), and the use of absolute terms (ex. "the customer is NEVER right about YOUR body").

I've no idea if my "secrets" will be entertaining or useful to anyone but me. As I mentioned, I enjoy dealing with the abstract rather than the concrete. I'm horribly incapable of recreating dialogue so anecdotes will be scanty. I despise sacrificing truth and fairness for the sake of comedy and entertainment so humour will probably be in short supply. But it will be fun for me to experiment with a gimmick after four years in the blogosphere.
posted by Trixie at 6/08/2005 12:05:00 PM -