MY TYPE
Guys seem to be really interested in what types of men I find attractive so I'll take that as an invitation to write about "celebrities I find attractive". I know you're excited to have bitching followed up by an exciting entry, to be followed by many more, of "famous people I think are really hot."

We saw a preview for A History of Violence and I fucking SWOONED; two of my all-time biggest contemporary film crushes on screen together? Oh Ed Harris!! Oh Viggo Mortenson!!



Ed Harris has got to be one of the hottest looking fucks I've ever seen. The scanty hair, the folds around his mouth, the horizontal fold across his chin, the expressive eyes, the expansive manly forehead -- AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! I am like a girl at an Elvis concert as I write these words and ponder the sexiness that is Ed Harris. His build, his personality . . . his sweet straight sculpted Ed Harris mouth -- I love everything I've seen of Ed Harris. Ed Harris! Ed Harris! Ed Harris! Oh . . . FUCK me, Ed Harris!! I recently read that most men would rather be impotent than be bald. STUPID. Bald is beautiful. Ed. Harris. I don't usually think of blue-eyed blondes as my "type", but Ed Harris moves me to panty-wetting excitement. I like him so much I even watched Radio. All of it. And I still love Ed Harris.



My Viggo crush came about from G.I. Jane (a movie I love in spite of Demi Moore's fake fucking tits that she refuses to own up to as total FAKES even though it's obvious they're FAKE which I don't have a problem with except that she claims she got round grapefruit tits from becoming a mother which is the fucking rudest thing to do to the non-fake mothers with real tits on this planet - I used your "I'm a pregnant beautiful naked woman of the earth" cover photo to wipe my shitty ass, Demi; a movie I love in spite of the total dis to dykes Demi "I'll go to your lesbo BBQ but I'm INSULTED anyone would think I'm a lesbo because I'm SO FUCKING STRAIGHT and I won't rest until this patent LIE, this blemish on my record, is ERASED!"; a movie I love in spite of all the totally unfeminist roles Demi proudly proclaims as so totally, like, feminist Miss "I am a whining ineffectual useless cunt in my 'feminist' role in A Few Good Men" Demi). Anyway, I really love Viggo in G.I. Jane -- was it the rape scene, I wonder? Because I don't find him half as hot in the role of Aragorn (unless I get up really close to the tv screen to see his features more clearly trying to block out the long greasy Aragorn hair; Sean Astin is the true sex symbol in LOTR, my pudgy wudgy bwave wuverboy!). Part of the appeal of Viggo as "Master Chief" Urgayle is his horrid accent and sarcastic tone and those faggy shorts he wears throughout the film. I really love ugly American accents, whether yankee or southern gentleman or Chicago mobster -- they make me think of dirty nasty fucking. I even watched Hidalgo because he was in it . . . and I thought of dirty nasty fucking (involving both Viggo AND the horse) the whole time.

Do you see how far I will go to try to satisfy my hunger for these men? Radio and Hidalgo? So yeah, I'm pretty fucking stoked about this new movie featuring both Viggo and Ed. They both have beautiful chins, cartoon-shaped mouths, and strong jawlines.

I never fantasize about being "double-teamed", certainly not with dominant men, but I would trust Viggo and Ed to some DP, hairpulling, spitting, choking, gagging and hard nasty fucking. I might even let them fuck me after they got done with each other!

And in case you're wondering who of the two I think is sexiest, the answer is ED HARRIS. Are you with me, girls?
posted by Trixie at 6/23/2005 05:40:00 PM -