DEATH DREAMS
I'm having a lot of dead-family-members dreams. Maybe because the one-year anniversary of my dad's death is coming up on June 5th? They're the kind of dreams that involve sobbing, weeping, and gnashing of teeth. Last night it was my sister who died (this is just about the worst possible nightmare). I went to a church who had some mystical ritualistic way of getting back together with your dead loved one. Something about me burying her a certain way, and then burying myself too.

Here's a repost of a pic of my dad that my mom had the funeral home include on their website:


I thought it was cool of them and her to say "fuck" propriety. Speaking of funerals, death & propriety, Houseboy and I have been watching the first season of Six Feet Under. I LOVE it. They've done an amazing job of telling stories with sympathy from multiple competing perspectives. Families dealing with death & stress are fucking fascinating. Anyway, maybe this is why I'm having the death dreams. Watching the pilot and first few episodes freshened up a lot of difficult memories.

I feel really tired. I want to sleep and NOT dream. I'm sick of it. I feel like getting some pills that will knock me out for a couple of days. But I know that I'd probably feel better & sleep better if I just exercised more. I have the worst time balancing all-the-things-that-need-to-be-done.

I've also been having a few cat nightmares too. It used to be all my savage animal dreams revolved around dogs and/or lions (sometimes alligators, crocodiles, dolphins, and other seafaring animals). In the cat dreams the kitties are so sweet. The sweet nightmare cat curls up around my shoulders, neck, or arms. I pet it but am hyperaware of my cat allergies and know soon I will suffer for its presence. Then when I try to gently remove the cat it digs its claws and/or teeth into my skin. The cat won't let go of me. I try to rip its grip off/out of my skin but it's clinging and firmly embedded tooth & claw into my skin. Mildly put, this is not pleasant experience.

Labels: dreams

posted by Trixie at 5/21/2003 09:38:00 AM -